as if sharing it would make it turer.

but after watching it a 3rd time, I find it sadly realistic. And my female adviser did advise me not to make my life too hard.

oh, no... what about us third-rate school graduates?

my dad told me a phd automatically comes with a rich husband and a stable life. he is soooo mistaken.

Well, i can think this way: my ultimate rebellion is to spend my entire life to prove him wrong.

The wisdom comes from his life experience, so the only way to challenge that is with another equally true life experience.

um..."the marriage market" and i guess my misery is that i didn't realize that i am for sale, like a jar of jam.

I always thought i am the consumer.

no... the tragedy of us jams is that we think we are the ones who are doing the shopping

without realizing that we are in fact the inanimate products in this marriage market.

no wonder i felt the bread was talking to me and trying to seduce me with its softness the other day in the supermarket.

I am so relieved that i was not delusional.

but just when i feel that it's me who finally has the "freedom" to make the decision to buy the bread...

suddenly Neo from the Matrix appears in the aisle.

with his sexy voice and black coat--for a second i am not sure if he is Keanu or Michel, he tells me the cruel truth that I am not free..

that's the moment when I have the epiphany

that why I thought I always had the freedom to be a sweet and sour jam, but people just pick me up for a second and put me back

before they go to the aisle where the hot and spicy BBQ sauce is shelved.

and the precious second when the customer picks me up and then puts me back also magically gives him the illusion of being free.

and thus the tragedy of jam goes on. It is not even free in its own secrete dream of fantasizing itself being a hot and spicy sauce.

However, comprehending the oracle that no where would it be free does make the jam's inanimate state a bit more bearable.

Knowing that being a jam is no less unfree than the customer who believes he fundamentally possesses freedom is certainly emancipatory

and meeting Prophet Neo/Keanu/Michel is quite a thrill. After all shopping is not the only form of exercising power.

But then again the jam wonders if it has entered another servitude of its own thinking and reasoning. Freedom is overrated anyway.

what if this idea of strategic mutual governing that gives me the sense of freedom is planted by Cobb and the architect from Inception?

the sense of myself is not generated by myself?

then you really are the Cobb I know.

Freedom aside, I shall be happy to try to let you explain or plant this mutual governing idea in me.

it appeals more to me than freedom, for sure.

freedom disappears everywhere power is exercised

in our brief encounter, Prophet Michel does tell me instead of speaking of an essential freedom, it would be better to speak of an "agonism"

it might be closer to what you've been calling "mutual governing."

it sounds rather painful, which is closer to dating or love as known by me.

sure, when time and conditions permit, I'd love to hear it. To know there is freedom in dating market must be wonderful.

the idea of dating market itself is quite interesting already. To be honest, I've never thought it in that way.

guess i was just reluctant to think relationship as a calculated endeavor.

the more i think about your idea, the more i find it contradictory.

Although it surely would be wonderful to feel being free in a relationship, the last thing you want you and your partner to feel is

being governed. So, what troubles me in your idea is not only the word "market" but the verb "govern."

zacharych: don't feel obligated to convince me. I am intrigued, but Plurk is not a perfect place for discussion.

zacharych: we can continue this another time and space.