laughs. Of course he is. If he asks nicely she might forget how much she dislikes him to help him fix it.

squints at her. It isn't broken...he's totally doing an awesome job.

's eye twitches. It looks horrible. Like his face.

it looks pretty cool. Unlike her boobs. Those look like bad backalley jobs.

grinds her teeth and decides not to hit him. at least she didnt waste money on a baby dick like he did.

snorts. She's never seen his dick. He was blesse with that big thing. Naturally. He should base her ideas about dick on Roddy's junk.

She shouldn't* fail )

's face flames and she punches him in the chest. Austrias dick is fine. Its Gilbert over compensating by bragging how awesome he is.

might wheeze a little, but that wasn't all that bad. She hits like a sissy.

take her fist and aim at his face then, channeling her anger into energy. She's aiming to break something or at least bruise.

[ /stalks you two .... /totally doesn't ship pruhun, nope .. <v<b]

(pffft you...off, off! -shales fist-)

howls, grabbing for his face as he rocks back. "What the hell?!"

snarls and raises her fist again. "Sissy nothing, you asshole! I may not have my frying pan but I can still beat the shit out of-

a pussy like you!"

doesn't always pick on weaker peop-- oh wait. Yes he does. Too bad she's still a girl and he still has a little lingering chivalry. She'll

just get a rough shove for that. "Bullshit! You might have a bigger set of balls on ya than most men, but you're still a sissy!" (lol sorry.

Had a con all weekend )

stumbles then shoves back, snarling back at him. "Why did I even bother trying to be moderately nice? You dick sucker I am not a sissy!"

(pft no prob. have fun?)

grabs for her wrist to stop her, though not as hard as he could, and snickers. "Like you know how to be nice. Dick sucker? Nice language for

a lady. That's real fuckin' attractive."

Yeah, it was pretty awesome )

flushes and yanks at her caught wrist. She scowls at him. "Fuck you asshole." Nice comeback.

also stomps her foot, debating on kicking him on the shin. "You wouldn't know attractive if it came up and bit you on the dick."

flicks her right on the nose, and none too gently. "Sure I do. I'm real familiar with attractive. I see it in the mirror every-

morning, actually."

wrinkles her face and smacks his hand away, none too gently. "Is that mirror broken? Cause you're ugly as fuck." She always gets so-

testy around him, she swears.

lets go of her wrist to pinch both her cheeks. "Nope, it works just fine. Just like the one above my bed!"

growls and slaps him. "Let go of my face you dick. You're acting like a grandma. And I dont give a shit about your mirror. the only person-

who sees it is you while you jack your tiny dick." she steps on his foot.

can't really decide which part to shout about first. The slap stung, but those tennis shoes aren't exactly steel-toed. "OW! Shit, watch-

where you're steppin', woman! That's a lot of weight coming down on my fuckin' foot all at once." Oh...whoops, the forbidden weight-

territory. Excuse him while he backs away real slowly, hands held up to ward off whatever blunt object she might hurl at him.

's eye twitches as she stalks towards him, shoving her sleeve up and cracking her neck. "What did you just say to me? I know you didn't-

just bring up my weight. Cause you're a dead man if you did." Her hand curls into a fist.

snickers. Manly, Eliza, manly. "Psht, 'course not. You're a graceful and elegant ballerina."

punches him dead on in the shoulder as hard as she can, then kicks him in the shin. "You sleazy bastard yes you did!" Oh the mention-

of her weight went as well as a ton of bricks. She doesn't buy that line. Especially not when he snickers. "Dick."

hasn't learned much over the years, so he's still going to pick at her even when she's swinging at him. He'll wear the bruises proudly.-

Just another successful round of bothering Hungary. "Dick? Yes, I have one and it's very nice. It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on.-

I can prove it, too."

half shrieks in disgust and pushes him, pushing a foot behind his leg so she can trip him. "Shut up! I don't want to see that nasty-

dick!" Her face flushes and she glares at him with the wrath of God himself.

stumbles back and trips over her foot, landing hard on his ass. That's not going to stop him from laughing though. "It's not about-

seeing it, princess! It's what ya do with it that counts."

lashes out with her foot, pining him to the ground. She breathes angrily out of her nose, face slowly turning red. "You can't do shit-

with that tiny thing. I bet you can't even last two minutes inside whatever the hell it is that decides to let *you* fuck it."

winces slightly and grabs for her leg, but high up, right around her knee. "Try two hours, Queen PMS. Two hours and I'd wear it out." Yeah,

that's his hand creeping up her thigh too, by the way.

keeps her foot there, not yet not noticing where his hand is going in her anger at him. She growls, and presses down on him. "Stop-

bullshitting me King Babydick. The way you drink you have the stamina of a virgin." She hopes no one else hears how crass she is.

tightens the hand at her knee to hopefully distract from the one on her thigh and maybe stop her from pressing down. That's starting to-

hurt a good bit. "The way I drink doesn't have shit to do with anything. I never had a problem with whiskey-dick, woman. Ask Roddy."

let off the pressure but there's no way in hell she's removing her foot and letting this fool up. Not after that comment. She feels-

something on her thigh, but figures it's just her dress or apron. She swallows a lump and glares at him, other hand curled in a fist. "Don't

you dare try and remind me of *that*." She still could spit fire at the thought of him touching Austria that way. Of course, it raises-

a flush for an entirely different reason but he doesn't have to know that. Ever. Or how she watched. "The thought of you raping him-

still haunts me. He had to wash several times to get the stink off."

could grab onto the band of whatever she's wearing under her dress and give her a really horrible front-wedgie, if he wanted. He might-

do that if she doesn't get off him soon. He's got his hand right in position to do it, too, the backs of his knuckles barely brushing up-

against her. He tilts his head and smirks. "Yeah? You sure he was washing, not going to the shower to jack off every time he thought about-

me?"

would not advise that. Gilbert would be spitting up blood for a good ten minutes with how hard she would crush his dick with her foot. She-

doubted he did, Austria was a prude in that aspect, too polite to try and have the scandal of her over hearing. She might have cough. She-

pretty clueless today, otherwise she would have noticed said knuckles. Must be cause she's so riled up. "As if. Why would he need to when-

he had this to service him at any given time?" She gestures to her own good looking body. Not that Austria asked for it. He was too damn-

wrapped up in that damn piano half the time and the other half slightly stand offish.

skips right on up, grabs the top of her undergarments and jerks them downward. He isn't sure if her dress is all once piece, otherwise he'd

have tried pulling her skirt down instead. "*Service him*? Woman, that man doesn't wanna be *serviced*. No fuckin' decent lover services-

anybody. 'specially not with those bony-ass legs."

freezes and bites her lip, one hand going up to stop the twitching of her eye. It's the calm of the storm. He did not just do that. It's-

almost unthinkable. Just bypass the last insult out of his mouth and skip straight to what he just did. "Gilbert. You have two seconds-

to explain to me what you just did. Or fix it. If you don't, I'LL KILL YOU." Not that it would be that hard with her foot right near his-

windpipe.

...just pinches both inner thighs. Hard.

forsakes crushing his windpipe with her foot for crushing it with her hands, a female demon enraged. "YOU SON OF A BITCH I'LL FUCKING-

KILL YOU." she compromises the height advantage to just try and choke the shit out of him.

's laughter gets cut short when he can't draw a deep enough breath to continue. It's just really wheezy laughter. "Get...off'a...me,-

crazy lady." There's no reasoning with her, so he just jerks his knee up and attempts to flip her off him.

"YOU BETTER-ack!" She wheezes at the feel of his knee and scrambles, not wanting to fall and flash, hands sliding all over him.

could almost die as one of her hands grazes his inner thigh and OH NO SHE DIDN'T. She flails and now tries to scramble away from him, eyes-

wide with shock.

just thankful she didn't accidentally knee him in the dick. She can put her hands wherever she wants as long as she doesn't sink her-

nails in too. He rolls onto his stomach and rubs his neck, coughing once. "Your foreplay sorta sucks."

looks around for her undergarments, still pissed about that incident. "Just shut the hell up. Has it gone through your thick head that maybe

if you hadn't yanked my underwear down I WOULDN'T WANT TO CHOKE YOU." She needs to work on her volume control. She lashes out with her-

foot, kicking him right in the ass.

lives with Ludwig, who has absolutely no volume control. He can take her shouting a little. The humor's gone pretty fast when she kicks-

him, though. He yelps and sits up on his knees. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You ever think maybe I wouldn't be such a dick to you if

you weren't such a crazy bitch all the time?" Not likely. But it's fun to say.

stands up, hands on her hips. Now where...ha! She brushes her hair out of her face and bends over to get them, quick as a flash. What-

now? Oh. Well...that kinda makes sense. She snorts and turns her back to them, sliding her under back on. She chews her lip. "Maybe."

(him not them fail)

watches, of course, just in case she isn't careful enough with all that readjusting. Damn spoil-sport. "Try it sometimes, see where-

it gets you."

turns back around and walks back to him. She chews her lip then plays with her hair, letting the strands slide through her fingers. "Fine."-

sticks a hand out to help him out. She's too careful around gilbert to let anything flash.

*help him up god the errors today

snorts and gets up on his own. He's seen way too many of her tricks to trust that one. She'd pull him up and throw him on his face or-

something. He brushes the seat of his pants off, straightens his shirt, and smirks. "So. No thong today, huh?"

can't blame him, that is her favorite trick to pull on him. She crosses her arms with a scowl, but it's less scary and more pouty. "What's-

the point in wearing a thong today when I'm not trying to impress anyone?" She doesn't like them too much. not with a dress. Too breezy.

rolls his eyes. "So what, you just knew exactly how the day was gonna turn out? Oh. Yeah, that's right. Roddy hides from you these-

days, doesn't he?"

smacks him in the chest, but it's not hard enough to hurt. "Watch it. And no, I didn't know but I generally don't dress like I'm trying-

to get laid for no reason. It's more comfortable this way." She may wear a dress now, but she likes the practicality of modest clothes.

lifts his hand to smack her right back, but redirects it to scratch the back of his neck. She's got those *things* on her chest. "Boring.-

Dress like you're tryin' to get laid and you *will*."

him a bland stare. "and how should I dress then?" She already knows his answer.

also add a smack to her chest earns a kick to his dick.

snorts. "Like you don't know. You've had tits for centuries. Don't tell me you never parade around with 'em hangin' out. You didn't bag-

Roddy with *charm*." Politics, maybe. Charm, fuck no.

shoves her hands into her apron pockets so she doesn't strangle him again. She rolls her eyes. "Gilbert, not all of us are whores-

like you." Well, Heracles might be. No he is. "It is possible that he and I get along. he's not a dick like you."