there's always *something* to do.

he ought cook a nice meal.

literally has nothing to do. He'd bug Polen or Roddy but those guys are never around. And he can't cook. Somebody should cook for him!

like frozen shit in his freezer. Fuck he was saving them, but if Gilbert wants to drink with him he can while he makes the shit.

never turns down a chance to drink! Sounds like an awesome plan.

sets the bottles on his counter. "I don't know what the fuck they are, but I know they're good to drink." He pulls the top off one and-

sniffs. "Some sort of vodka I'd think."

about to ask if it was some kind of pussy mixer shit, but that answers it. He'll just sit up on the counter for now. "Cool shit."

lounges on one counter and tosses a bottle at him. "Catch." He starts downing the other in his hand.

grabs for it and twists the top off in a hurry to get a drink. "Danke. Not bad!"

"Yeah for stuff I have no clue how long it's been here." he gets up and looks in his fridge.

"Ive got...cheese andddddd.....mustard. Are you still hungry?"

shrugs. Still burns like good booze. "...that's all you got? Yeah, I'm hungry, but it's gonna take more than cheese to fix that. You got a

phone book?" He'll just fix this the bachelor way. With Germany's card.

digs around and hands one to him. "Is that your card?"

flips it open and starts looking for whatever seems like a delivery place. Do they even *have* pizza here... "Technically yeah, since my-

territory's all part'a Germany now.'

shrugs. Hey it sounds okay. "Whatcha looking for?"

"Italian food places. They deliver stuff sometimes."

grabs the book and flip throughs it till he finds a piece of paper with a number scrawled next to a sex toy shop number.

"Call the first place. Other wise, you won't get food."

stares at the number in question, phone already in hand. "...what kind of food is that?"

"The first is Italian. The second is where I go for...other appetites."

snorts as he dials the number. "Appetites."

laughs. "What else would you call them? It's not like I really wanna quit em and when I crave, I crave. I need them."

"Sides, edible body paint just tastes so good." a dreamy smile appears as he thinks of the taste.

hasn't ever heard the word appetite used in that context, so he's still pretty amused. The subject matter is one he's very familiar with-

though. And obviously very entertained by. "Are you talkin' about Italians or sex?" Nevermind that terrible joke. "Edible body paint?-

Haven't had it."

laughs loud. "Naw Italians are too loud and nag a lot. Sex, stupid." He cocks his head to the side-

"You got to be shitting me. you've never tried it before?"

(the only time I have seen appetites in this context is in my moms shitty werewolf romance novels XD )

lifts a finger to pause the conversation so he can order food from them. Indeed, the Italian on the other end is very loud and has such a-

grating voice that even *he* gets annoyed into hanging up fast. "There. Food's ordered." And now time for a drink. "Naw, never."

raises an eyebrow. "Hang on I got one somewhere..." he digs around his cupboard, then drags a tube out.

"See, this one is strawberry. It's kinda like candy. Taste it." he hands it to him.

takes it and turns the thing around in his hands, reading the label. He twists the cap off then looks up, brow arched. "You keep this stuff

in the kitchen for a reason, man?"

scratches his head. "I remember....oh yeah! I bought it then hid it here so Sadiq wouldn't see it. It's a surprise of sorts."

"Sides they taste fucking good I ate an entire tube just because."

currently has the tube in his mouth, sucking down some of the flavored...whatever. "...you mean Türkei? You sleep with that?" Consider him-

impressed, sir.

smirks. Wait...was he supposed to tell people? Eh, whatever it's not like it's anything to be ashamed about. He sighs and nods-

"It's kinda sporatic. We hardly sleep though."

he winks in the whole "If you know what I mean" kind of way.

swaps the body paint for the vodka drink, since it isn't his, and washes the strawberry tinge out of his mouth. "I get ya. You're fuckin'-

him, but you ain't gonna hold his purse at the mall, that kinda thing."

"Man he's ripped too....I can't resist men with muscles. Oh my gods, don't remind me of the mall." he frowns and rolls his eyes-

"I went with Francis and he dragged me to all the "pretty" and girly stores.I felt so out of place."

grins a bit ruefully. "Hey, you stay the hell away from my brother then. ...but why the *fuck* would you go to the mall with Francis? Gott-

man, even *I'm* not that much of a masochist."

shudders. "Your brother would eat me up and spit me out. I'm happy staying away thank you. If I ever feel the urge for him I'll go pay-

random men to hold me down and beat me with sticks." He shrugs and shakes his head. "I really don't know. Now that I know how bad he is-

I'm never doing it again."

would encourage that. Don't mind his protective streak; you didn't see it, just your imagination. "He isn't that bad. Just when you-

get him good and pissed. "I'm surprised you got out of there without a mani-pedi and a new murse."

I'm, not "I'm* )

groans. "No, no murse and man-man pedi? Man pedi. I don't know I never know what to say to him in the first place." He winces. "When I get-

nervous all I can think of are really bad pick up lines. Andddd I was drunk last time I was even near him...so...yeah..." He glances at the-

clock. "I'm hungry. Where the hell is the food?" He slouches over from pure hunger.

looks down into the depths of the vodka bottle, almost ashamed he knows the very definition. "Manicure and pedicure. He does that shit,-

I think. Near who, Frankreich? Did he *touch you places*?" Snort. Oh wait what? Food? "Fuck if I know. Oughta be here be now. Fuckin'-

Italians drive fast."

laughs. "I meant I don't know how to say anything to your brother. Please, Francis hasn't touched me in....fucking forever." He counts on-

his fingers. "Yeah it's been a long time. So don't you worry bout that."

's face screws up some while he tries to choke that mouthful of vodka down in a hurry. It leaves him coughing and slightly raspy when he-

speaks up. "Why the hell would I worry? You two are adults, you can do whatever you want!"

blankly stares."I know. I was just mentioning it. But your reacton was interestng."

really would like for the food to come. That would be a great distraction. Hold on, let him think of something else then. "Aw hell,-

whatever. Where d'you get that body paint crap?"

him a bored stare. He's not stupid, but no point in pushing on something that's probably nothing.

He angles his head at a knock. "There's the food. You better have bought for two. And I'll take you to the shop after we eat."

hops down off the counter and goes to the answer the door, waving him off. What he brings back is more than enough for the both of-

them, actually. "Ja, ja. Courtesy of Deutschland."

's eyes slightly widen and his grin stretches from ear to ear. "Well I can't turn down a courtesy..." He tosses him a fork

and digs into his food like a mad man, somehow not spilling food all over the place.

gets right back up on the counter with his fork and food, digging in.

scarfs an absurd amount of food and burps. He stretches and carries the garbage to the trash.

"That was good."

doesn't eat quite as much since he isn't stoned. That'll leave more for later and less to puke up if he drinks too fast. He tosses his-

own trash and puts the leftovers in the refrigerator. "Yeah, wasn't bad. "

yawns. "So whatcha wanna do? I've got....four bottles left of booze."

doesn't even have to think. "Those."

smirks and slides two his way. "By the way, I let Francis get away with it once, but you throw up once on my carpet..."

snorts. Not surprising. "I don't puke easy, don't worry."

[FUCK YOU GREECE :U]

[jkilu]

(AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FAGGOT HOLD YA BOOZE XD)

laughs. "alright then. I think I have...juice." he pops his head in his fridge. "I have juice as a mixer."

shrugs. "That's cool. I don't use mixers much anyway."

settles back on the counter and uncaps a bottle. "So whats up with you lately? Ive already spilled my beans."

swings his legs idly, bottle cradled between his thighs. "Nothin', man. Been busy doin' computer shit."

raises an eyebrow and laughs. "No conquests in bed? Just computer shit. Sounds kinda boring."

stiffens, pride successfully provoked. "Hey now, I didn't say *that*. I've been gettin' plenty."

takes a swig of his drink and blankly smiles at him. "Your hand doesn't count."

flips him off. "How's'at for a handjob? What, you want names? Damn. I ain't sorry enough I gotta make shit like that up. I get ass all-

the time, man."

then smiles, all smug. "Naw dude I like my handjobs with man hands. You got girly fingers."

flips him off with both middle fingers, laughing. "Fuck yourself, ya dick. I never had a complaint."

laughs, not bothered by being flipped off. "Probably because they slept through it."

makes a strangled, disbelieving noise. "Bullshit! It's fuckin' awesome! The only two things better are what come *after* that."

snorts. "The way you over react to my accusations seriously makes me think otherwise."

sticks the top of the vodka bottle in his mouth and upends it, taking a nice, lengthy pull. When he's done, he sets the bottle aside and-

swipes his mouth with his sleeve. "Fuck ya. Too damn bad you're all hung up in muscle-dick or I'd *prove* it to ya. Never had better."

shrugs then looks at him with a spark of interest. "He knowes how I stand and gave permission. So what will you prove?"

gets in his face, but not close enough to touch. "Prove you're so damn good in bed, limp dick."

's grin turns absolutely predatory, red narrowing. He reaches out automatically, aiming to hook his fingers into Heracles' waistband and-

pull him closer. "Limp dick? You're just fuckin' full of yourself, aren't ya?"

smirks, booze making his face flush faster. "I don't say anything I can't back up." He reaches out and places a hand on his thigh.

thumbs the button of his pants open and starts tugging the zipper down. "Maybe all that big talk is just overcompensatin' for something-

small.". And yes, it's a miracle he remembers such big words as drunk as he is.

snorts and lets his own hand cup his dick. "If that was the case, you would have seen it in my skin tight jeans."

he strokes him slowly, enjoying the feel on his palm. "Maybe you're the one with baby dick."

can't help laughing as he pushes against that hand. His own works down into Heracles' pants and shorts. "*Baby dick*? Couldn't fit that-

fuckin' piercing I got if I had a baby dick, man. Couldn't choke people like I do with a baby dick either."

laughs at the vulgar images bombarding his mind. "Ever see babies get their ears pierced at the mall? Same thing."

's hold tightens as he squeezes him.

rocks against his hand while wrapping his fingers around his dick. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lose the pants already."

shuts up and slides his pants off, kicking them to the slide. He smiles, putting his hand back on his cock. "Your turn."

slips down off of the counter just to get his pants off. All he has to do is loosen his belt and the jeans slide right off his skinny-

hips. Even with his shorts on, the proof that he has quite the opposite of a baby dick should be pretty damn obvious at this point.

stares. "Damn you're skinny. And packing." He leans forward and grabs his cock while he nips at his shoulder.

(btw should we be doing private plurk now? )

( PFT whoops. yeah, probably. :B )

(I'll set it up hanggggg on)

(tis set. now you can dry hump my leg in private)

( LOL <3 )