Gilbert
is
really hungry. Really *really* hungry. But there's nobody around to make him food and no car to take to a restaurant. He's thinking about-
forcing somebody to make him dinner tonight. But who...
suggests seeing if some sort of restaurant will deliver. Or he can, you know, *walk*.
doesn't know of any good wurst places around that deliver. And he's too damn lazy to *walk*.
Francis
thinks
that sucks for him, then.
suggests he get off his lazy ass and cook for himself.
...thinks you guys are some hateful bastards today.
...thinks you're just overly sensitive today. What a girl.
isn't a girl! And he thinks Francis needs to quiet that shit down before he jinxes him into catching what it was Tino had earlier...
supposes he isn't. Girls these days aren't as helpless. Maybe a toddler. But hey, if that jinxes something into happening, guess who's good-
with kids!
isn't helpless either! And he doesn't want to hear about your prowess with children, you creeper. He'll just go hang out with Eva and bug-
*her* til she makes him dinner then. Dick.
Francis
is
fine with that. Go enjoy yourself. You can't expect him to do something for you when he's not even asked anyway.
Gilbert
is
just going to give him time to get out of his cranky-old-man mode then.
Francis
is
not a cranky old man, merci beaucoup. Maybe he'll be nicer if Gilbert uses his words.
Eva
will
not be cooking dinner for Gilbert. :I What is she, his mom?
can use his words. Watch. "Eva. Eva. Eva. EVA."
"...EVA. EEEEVA. Eva Eva Eva Eva Eva Eva Belgium Eva."
tries to ignore. She does try, honest. But goddamn annoying son of a- "WHAT."
admires his communication skills, really. They're superb.
sticks his tongue out. See? Got the point across, didn't he? Admire him, go on. "Make me dinner, *mama*."
snorts. Sorry, you're not tiny and cute. "Grab a cookbook and make it yourself."
Francis
was
being sarcastic, idiot. He's just going to stand over here and watch.
blows a raspberry. "Don't wanna. Come on, you know you women cook better anyway. Feed your kid."
...totally knew that.
flicks his nose. How sexist. :I "Seems like you'll be starving, baby boy."
agrees it's sexist. Obviously men cook better--Imeanhi.
Gilbert
thinks
sexist is just an abbreviation for sexiest. He rubs his nose. "Come *ooooon*. I'm hungry."
would like to smack Francis for that one, thank you. And... No comment, Gilbert. No comment. She sighs. "Can't you just order a pizza?"
tries his best to look malnourished and weak. However that's possible. "I don't have any money."
isn't all too impressed by his attempts, sadly. "How about eating fruit? Surely there's some in the house."
makes a face. "West isn't home yet. And that would just make me hungrier."
's eye twitched. You know that's never a good sign. "And you still expect *me* to..." Cue ambiguous hand gestures. "Cook. Why?"
makes a not-so ambiguous hand gestures towards her boobs and looks at Francis for help here.
"Eva, you've got tits. It's your job to prepare meals for us." So much for being secular.
{ /just. lols. }
turns to Francis, mouth hanging open in shock. "You're siding with-- What the hell. I'm not your damn maid, you two."
Francis
is
a guy. He's got to side with the one who puts out more, you know. "I'm sure there's an outfit around here somewhere you can wear to -
change that.
"
cannot argue with that, you know that. "How about no? You can cook, why won't you do that yourself?"
simply shrugs. He wasn't directly asked so...
's lips purse. "You're skinny. I've got one that'll fit you pretty well."
shakes her head. "If I cook for you." Pause. Deep breath. Deep breath. "Will you stop being an ass for five minutes?"
nearly snorts. It'll take him five minutes to eat his food, so his mouth will be occupied. Easy. "Sure."
"You gonna wear that dress too?"
thought so. :I She should have said half an hour, but then that would be like asking for a miracle. "Fuck no."
can keep him busy for that long. Way longer. Or both of them, really.
Gilbert
is
disappointed but only marginally so. He still gets food. And entertainment. "That's fine, that's fine. You can cook naked too."
snorts. Yeah, Gilbert's one lucky chum. "Wouldn't you like that?" She will, however, consider looking for ingredients to uh. Cook something.
blinks. "Well yeah, I would. I mean, if you were gross and looked like dogass, not so much. But you're pretty hot." Here he elbows Francis
. "Isn't she?"
looks over at her and grins. "Oh yeah. She's got a nice ass to go along with those tits, too."
snickers. "They're real perky. Bet she'd pass a pencil test."
tries her best to ignore this, ahem, wonderful theme of conversation, but that's kind of difficult, y'know. "You know what, I'm going to
pretend you didn't just say that."
"Why? It's a compliment."
deadpans. "Would you like it if I was talking about your ass while you're trying to cook for the starved one over there?" OHWAIT yeah.
Gilbert
likes
the way this conversation is going, so he unearths a hidden bag of potato chips to eat while watching.
"Chouchou, you can talk about my ass whenever you'd like."
isn't even looking back so she doesn't see what you did there, Gil. "Kitchens sound hardly appropriate for that sort of talk."
"Au contraire. It's actually a wonderful place for such conversation. And kitchen sex is fantastic, you know."
nods and wipes his hand on his jeans, talking through a mouthful of chips. "Ja, when you get on th'table an' all."
shouldn't even be surprised the conversation went this way. She'll just. Chop vegetables or something. "I *know*." An exasperated sigh. "
"Thank you for your input."
leans against the wall and looks at his nails. "Anytime."
tries to laugh, gets choked, and hacks instead.
pats his back.
doesn't even look over at him, how sweet. "Serves you right, glutton." Oh hello, hypocrite. :'>
goes right back to eating. "You done yet?"
wouldn't have expected any less. "Almost. Be patient."
"....you done now?"
"I'll be done when you count to one hundred." Actually, she's almost done.
sighs. "Can't count that high."
shrugs. "Sucks for you, huh."
Eva
is
done though, yay. So soon she's setting a plate of... food {/SOMETHINGIdon'tknow} on the table. "Eat the vegetables, too."
dumps chips on the plate so he doesn't have to see the vegetables before he starts in on it. "Thanks!"
Eva
will
bitchnag him until he eats the vegetables, just so you know. "Uh, ja. No problem."
might join in with that too. Vegetables are good.
sincerely hopes Francis joins in, actually.
prefers the other things first. The things that aren't vegetables.
isn't sure how often he can use 'for the sake of jizz' though.
snorts. Well, they'll find a way to convince Gil if he starts acting like a kid.
isn't eating those damn vegetables, you traitors. :|
Eva
will
tell you her bra size if you do? c: What.
won't blow you ever again if you don't eat them. How's that?
can guess your bra size just by staring, lady, try harder. And holy *shit*, that's cruel. That's *really* cruel, Frenchie...
Francis
thinks
it's only cruel if Gilbert chooses for it to be. It takes no effort to eat vegetables.
Eva
will
withdraw her offer then, seeing Francis thought of something smarter. Oh, the dilemma, Gil.
Gilbert
hates
vegetables. He really, *really* hates them. This isn't fair.
figures it's his problem if he's willing to sacrifice his sex life because of the vegetables.
supposes he can wrap his lips around something else. Hm. Any popsicles around?
shoves the plate off the table. There. Can't eat spilled food.
... stares.
blinks. Spilled food or not, he still didn't eat those vegetables so sucks for you. Except not literally.
crosses his arms. "You're a dick."
"So? You're acting like a child."
's eye has that little twitch again. "Ludwig will hear about this, I hope you know."
"Hear about what?"
jumps - don't sneak up on people, sir. She points to the mess. "Your brother's antics."
frowns. "What *was* that?"
offers a small wave to him. "Pushing his plate off the table rather than eating his vegetables. Like a *child*."
"Food." She crosses her arms. "Exactly what Francis said."
slaps him across the back of the head. "Pick it up."
so didn't wince. "You guys are snitches. That totally fell like that."
rolls her eyes. "Ja, ja. You heard the man."
Francis
has
conflicting loyalties, sorry. Not that he'd bring that up. He'll just lean against the wall over here and watch again.
isn't budging or looking at any of them now. No way is he going to pick that stupid plate up, no matter what.
grabs the shorter hairs at the base of Gilbert's neck and tugs. Hard. "Get your ass out of that chair and clean this mess up."
Francis
is
kind of glad he's not at the receiving end of Ludwig's disciplining for the moment. Mostly because that looks like it hurts more than feels-
good.
shifts a bit uncomfortably, feeling just about the same way as Francis. That does seem quite painful.
squawks and comes up out of the chair almost immediately to spare himself the pain. "Verdammt, fuck, get off!"
doesn't let go until he's sure Gilbert is going to bend down and pick the mess up. "And apologize to whoever made that for you."
stubbornly starts cleaning the mess up but very slowly, almost throwing every little bit of vegetable onto the plate.
Francis
thinks
it's unfortunate that food is getting wasted like that, but at least from where he's at, he's got a nice view of Prussian ass.
just sort of sighs, watching him for a moment before glancing over at Ludwig. "Is he always like this?"
doesn't notice Francis watching like that, or he'd get a glare too. "Yes, whenever he thinks he can get by with it."
can't be intimidated by a glare he doesn't get, so he'll just continue. And maybe at Ludwig's too. He can't help but do this, you know.
gets all the spilled food picked up and slams the plate onto the table. "There. I'm *done*. And I'm *sorry* about your food, mo- Eva."
just shakes her head; perhaps next time she will get the dirty old mop and hit him over the head. She sort of smirks a bit at his apology -
but eventually just nods. "Next time, eat your vegetables."
huffs. "I don't like vegetables! The only vegetables we make here are potatoes, lady!" Though one glance over his shoulder at his brother-
should be enough to prove otherwise. The face he's making is classic, really. It would be even better if he knew Francis was looking at-
his ass too.
"Uh huh." She does not look that impressed, really; hands on her hips now and eyebrow raised - all she needs is to tap her foot and he'll -
have more than reason to go around calling her mom. "You keep whining all you want, mister, but I won't even argue with you."
turns to Ludwig. "My apologies. Sometimes I forget he's this childish."
Francis
is
too distract it to add his input immediately. "It wouldn't kill you to eat it." (/punts plurk)
distracted* this is what happens when it makes me post three different times)
doesn't give Gilbert time to finish that complaint about Eva being way too strict on her kid or whatever the hell that was. It's hard to-
understand him when he gets fired up; his accent seems to thicken if he continues to speak in English. "So do I. And he *thinks* it would-
kill him. Or poison him. Something ridiculous like that."
isn't bored with this conversation or anything. It just doesn't concern him so much that it keeps him from getting a glass out of the -
cabinet so he can help himself to some water. He's thirsty. It kills him to say this, but... "If the flavour bothers you so much, you know-
you could have washed it down with beer or something, Gilbert."
rolls her eyes, glancing over at Gilbert for a moment but not paying much attention to his complaints, finding it somewhat difficult to -
understand him now. She mumbles something about 'what a baby' or something of the sort, but Francis seems to make a good point.
"See, now that would have worked out nicely."
scowls. "Then one of you dicks could have teamed up and brought me a beer."
"Or you could have gotten it yourself."
snorts. "Francis has a point, you know."
doesn't realize that one person does not make a team. Shut up. "I was too weak from hunger pains."
's convinced herself that he's a bit of a moron. It's all cool. "Ja, ja. Of course you were. Poor baby."
squints, frown turning down even further. "Oh, shut up. Snitch. *Gott*."
crosses her arms. "Don't tell mama to shut up." A pause. "Jackass."
Francis
is
just standing there sipping his water, like he's always the innocent mature one. Just because. "You both are both such children."
Francis
is
just standing there sipping his water, like he's always the innocent mature one. Just because. "You both are both such children."
flicks a stray vegetable bit at her. "You're not the boss of me. None of ya!"