"Ah, Alfred, fancy meeting you here!"

"Would you like some, too?

"Are you sure ? It really helps to loosen someone up!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

not prepared for this, but his beer may help. "Yes?

"I'm ALWAYS here. Just ask the bartender how much I'm here. You know damn well where to find me."

"Where else would I be each night ?!"

"Don't even think about it! You know where I am, every single night, and I don't see you coming here often to visit me!"

"Seriosuly? You trust IVAN? Just because he's in a different time zone than I am?"

"Time zones are a piss poor judge of character."

"I apologise, but things happened at the last minute! I tried calling you!"

"Of course I did! Did you really think I would forget about a date I initiated?"

sighs. "You give me too little credit. Of course I wouldn't forget about that! I apologise for bot being able to attend; things sometimes

get in the way."

"Well, that's just me, and I thought you'd *BURRRRRRRRRRRRRP* ... be used to it by now!"

"Well, then maybe you should have arrived earlier!" He laughs drunkely for about a minute, uncontrollably.

runs after him, or stumbles, anyway. "Wait! Come back!"

continues stumbling after him. "But I still love--" He trips over his own feet and falls down.

then curses loudly. "FUCK !!!"

"Do I look like I can get up? OF COURSE I DO!"

"I wish you could, too. But, you can't. Too bad." He continues his uncontrollable, drunken laugher.

--laughter.

"Do what? You knew what you were getting when you said yes to me!"

gets dragged to a chair, but somehow forgets how to sit and falls all over it. "Sorry ... how do you sit again?"

"You are really going to leave me? After all I've done for you? After I fucking CREATED YOU? I can destroy you, you know."

laughs for awhile. "Okay, so I can't. But you have to admit, such a film reference must at least give you wood, right?"

pouts. "Fuck. You just made me lose the game." He laughs again. ((You made me lose the game, too !!))

((no please! I hate that thing))

((I'm already angry that this fucking 1 vs 100 contestant didn't know without help that Hong Kong belonged to the Britis

--British before it belonged to China. I just want to punch her!))

"Fine. Have fun with that fucking Russkie. Enjoy being the United Socialist States of America."

"Have fun with your Tsar Barack and your socialist laws that are being passed. You and Ivan make a PERFECT couple!"

"Of course I do! That's why I want to stop you from making the mistake of socialism before it's too late!'

"Like I said, if I didn't care, I'd just let you become a socialist instead of warning you!"

"You know I do. And I was there last time you were actually really hurt."

"You were hurt yesterday? Why didn't you say so? It's not non-heroic to be hurt!"

stutters. "Well ..... of course I do. You didn't realise that?"

"Were you really in that much of doubt?"

"Well, you know where to find me!"

"Oh, and why? The company is nice, the bartenders are excellent, and the beer is reasonably priced. What's not to like?"

"Well, I don't want a prude as a boyfriend -- I just want Alfred!"

"Well, either you accept all of me or you don't, then."

"Well, love is unconditional or not real at all. So please kindly see what you can do."

unzips his pants and exposes himself. "This?"

laughs hysterically. "I'm just fucking with you." He extends his hand, not zipping his trousers up.

"Hey, who are you calling a waste? Why, I oughta ..." He notices the hand near his zipper. "Never mind, then."

((i love these two, dysfunctional but adorable))

((And I'm in a laughing fit when everybody else sleeps, thanks...))

((Of course! They're such a dysfunctional couple.))

((owo hi? ))

((Hi ^_^))

protests. "I AM NOT A FUCKING WASTE! Do I need to fuck you to prove it ?!"

((yikes i love how you show up randomly, Ivan))

((you'll allow Kiku to lurk right, he he))

"Oh, really? That's not what you normally say. Normally, it's 'I'm a hero! Let's fuck!'"

((Of course))

((ya better, ha ha))

"Maybe if someone uploads it to Hetatube, I will." He laughs drunkenly again.

"That one video portal you made, the one where Estonia posted that one film!"

goes with him, stumbling and leaning on the walls. "You should know! I saw your penis there before the terms of use Nazis took it down!"

gets thrown into the car. "Where are you taking me, giant talking cupcake?" ((A reference to an abridged series a friend was in))

"Aww, no fun? But you said we were going to bed!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING HEAVY? At least I'm not fat like Ivan--er, are you going to at least join me?

"You could always join me. And he IS fat! He's a fucking Pillsbury Doubghboy!"

quips, "That's not ALL I do when I'm drunk."

"That's all I needed." He rips his suit off, leaving him naked.

"Now that I've freed myself of my clothing, there's nothing left but Florida."

((i love drunk Iggy))

((crap that was supposed be parathese))

"But Florida is delicious! Just like I am!:

"Naturally, because I am!"

"Okay. I'm sure I'll join you eventaully. Good n\ight." He passes out.