I am a chronic overthinker of things and its easy to get me lost in the weeds and details

It has caused me a great deal of difficulty in my life.

Im still working on this but

god sometimes its good just to remind myself to step up and look at the big picture of things

I found myself getting really stressed over the holidays

Ive had some disagreements with my family in the past month and I was getting very In My Own Head about it

That and just. everything else too.

Ive gotten more perspective though to where Im more easily able to parse out what needs handled with what level of care

I used to chase every bit of bad feeling to its end, and trying to figure it out

be it a huge family argument or a small miscommunication in D&D or whatever

with the same level of intensity.

My therapist reminded me recently that I need to just kind of

allow things to happen and reserve the energy trying to control outcomes to simply controlling my reactions and choices

it better allowed me to kind of pick my battles. Which may sound like idk giving up or letting people walk on me but like

just breathing out and asking myself "is this worth my energy" is such a powerful question to ask myself

sometimes it is. often it is. But a lot of the time, it's really just not.

Letting go of the idea of pride and control over situations that only get worse the tighter one holds.

I know none of this is particularly profound but

it helps to remember

at first I hated the idea of not being in control and mistook that for helplessness

but focusing my energy inwards actually gave me more of a grasp on every situation

its never been perfect, I still get into tizzies but not nearly for as long or as bad as they used to be.

It gave me so much more command over myself and how I reacted to things. A perch from which to spot those incoming thoughts and emotions that could be damaging and prepare for them before they did any harm

with the world the way it is now, I feel like this is more and more valuable