like beforehand i thought it was just, like, an adhd thing, like "whoopsie doopsie i forgot to play this incredible game for a whole year or more, silly me"

but going through the gameplay loop again and getting back into that headspace, i remember something i'd forgotten

the sidequests

there's just, so so many of them. and i am cursed with the knowledge that if you advance too far in the main story they can become unavailable and/or impossible to complete

which, in my brain, becomes "i have to do them, before advancing the main story at all"

"even if i am not enjoying doing that at all"

so over the course of two sessions in the last few days i managed to drag myself through every pre-timeskip sidequest and then advance to the point in the story where the timeskip happens

and i'm feeling pretty ok about it, until i walk into town and my stomach drops as i see a bunch of new sidequests are now available

this is not a normal or proportional reaction to seeing new side content become available. so i am forced to conclude that something about this is bad for my brain

i still intend to complete the game if i can, but i anticipate it to require some time and some suffering on my part