although i'll take a minute to see if i can remember how to play at all

pitioss can apparently take. six hours.

so i'm prepared with some sugar to keep my ass awake

oh god i'm so sorry ignis, i'm trying to remember how to be a person

and part of that means trying to remember how to use weapons

i don't need to use weapons for pitioss, from what i understand, but, regardless

ok i think i remember how to do basic movement, so

we'll see if that's. enough.

now to fly a car for the first time. this will be. fine.

given how that car handles.....good luck

.............so!

i crashed immediately!

i also forgot where pitioss was, however, so, maybe for the best

ok, so, i think i almost had it, maybe, but, uh

listen it's

landing is hard

THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM

WE'RE ALL ALIVE

"Can we save? Oh please god i can't do that again"

find monoth haven!

i can't believe all my friends lied to me when i thought i had finished my haven reviews

....ok i guess that's a malboro here!! sure!!!!

ooooh kettier ginger here

wheeze

> Ignis: You look a bit out of sorts, Noct
> Gladio: You need to take better care of yourself
> Noct: I thought that's what you two were for >:T

~here we go~

alkdjfas who's saying "cake, baby"

noct, was that you, that was three times in a row

game, you are not a platformer, is this really a good idea

opened a chet!

no idea where to go now!

dklfa fucked up a jump, thought i was fucked, but it does teleport you, thank god

Oh yeah, you basically have infinite tries

And USUALLY you can't be sent back any further than the start of the current room

You can also unlock shortcuts as you progress, KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THESE AFTER YOU CLEAR A ROOM

i made a ball stay

does that count

They aren't always there, but it IS theoretically possible to, say. Walk past a shortcut without unlocking it, fall off a ledge, and then because you didn't unlock that shortcut first you have to redo the last two hours to get back where you were

Whereas if you'd unlocked the shortcut, you could just walk up some fucking stairs and get back on the ledge

also callie i know you said you wanted me to stream, but please be aware, i am doing this on two laptops technically, so discord on gaming laptop is. different from plurk laptop lakdjfa

Shortcuts usually look like, iirc, red glowing face pillars

You smack them a few times and they go away, but it only works from the right side - and you can only access the right side to dispel them by legit clearing all the prior rooms to reach them

Ahhh

Ah yeah I found it I think

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THESE FUCKS

jumpscares myself by destroying a very fancy well carved and also Fuckin Huge statue's head

Oh yeah, big statues are kind of a thing in Pitioss

THE DEAL, CUYLER, IS THAT ONLY ONE LAPTOP CAN DO FANCY XV GRAPHICS

HELL YEAH I DID BIRD SOUNDS INSTEAD OF SPEAKING

(For context, James is now yelling at those of us hanging out in voice)

in voice, on discord

fucks up in a tube. die. immediately rolls off the edge

I SUSCCCEED IN RUNNIGN OVER HTE TUBE

AND ATE SHIT ON A BALL

spikes are everywhere, help

it's a good thing the stream can't work because i died a lot there

i don't need any of these things i'm collecting

but i'm collecting them

just made a duck noise while falling, so those who had hoped to hear me, ever, on voice, would still be disappointed

i think a door just busted straight off its damn hinges

i stabbed myself to get a rune earring

SUCCESS AT MOVING PLATFORM SPIKE WALL ROOM

taxi is the worst to have as a lapcat for this, because vriska just sat still and screamed

taxi is Fidgety

(we are also nearing the feeding time, however, so)

James, making Noct tightrope walk over metal beams over a roving skull wall of spikes: walk walk fashion baby

this diagonal ruins area is a motherfucker lmao

ok i have no idea where to go here after making that terrible little jump lmf

ooooooooooooooooh down i see

sits here face in hands

hate.... roll... and crouch... being connected....

i just wanted to pick up a thing....

i think they should have attached a gopro to noct for this

review the footage and just be like waht the fuck

returning to this later, yes, landing the car is a hot mess

also some day I need to finish that hot mess of a dungeon

jumpscared by sudden side view as it dumps me down a wheel

"oh sweet, i'll enjoy this very atmosphere statue up close - oh christ the floor is moving again"

"....You probably don't jump on the boobs, right? you don't jump on the boobs- oh holy shit you jump on the boobs"

found genji gloves in the large woman's navel

as with the case of many a young man, once i actually have a woman down and my hands on her, i have no idea what to do next

ldkfjadslfk AND THIS TIME I GUESS I WASN'T IN A GOOD ENOUGH POSITION AND FELL DOWN BETWEEN HER LEGS WHILE SHE WAS RECLINING

frantically climbs tits so i don't die

kldjfasldfk slid down a big staff and hurt myself

also sounds about right

LKDJSSFLASKDF WENT DOWN TO 5 HP AFTER I FINALLY HIT GROUND

WE'RE DOING GREAT

"I swear to god if you two are freaks on my lap while I am trying to cross through spikes" - james, to two cats

i'm back at the starting area and so very lost

not helped by how i fell off a thing

rolls around

ok so by some grace, i have....three of the five doors open

and i think if i just open one more - the inner left one - then the middle one will open

.......................probably

problem: don't know how to open the inner left one lmao

i'm a liar, inner right

i do not know directions

THE SKULL WALL

You've made a lot of progress though

I feel like there's not that many rooms left after the tit jump

oh hello callie

as you can see, you have slept

and i am still here

cheats and does screencaps early to show you where i'm currently stuck

the door, and then where i know the damn button is,

gurgles, distressedly

Ooof

Unfortunately I have no memory of this place

I mostly remember the big set pieces

callie!!! how dare you misplace the brain cell

I'm pretty sure you're the one currently using it

i'm the one currently making duck noises

Good news: you're literally in the final room, I think

/watching a walkthrough

I'M ON THE IPILARS

FOURTH DOOR OPEN it's just thais middle fucker now

Do you still need to open the door with that red button over it?

yheface in hands

i went to type......

and nepeta jumped from my lap to the mouse....

and made noct roll off an edge.....

asdfghjkl

Evil child

GOT UTON

I assume that was meant to be button

.....ok a platinum bangle is nice but i don't know how to get out of here

Yeah there's a jump over there that has a moving platform that. Is not obvious will move when you land on it

i thought. that would be the exit.

oh, for how you get that other door open? wow i. really made that more difficult for myself then

Nah, you'll know when you reach the exit because you'll get an item you have never seen before

That is SUPERLATIVELY good

tightrope walks again......

got you, shortcut that has been mocking me so many times as i've fallen to my death

freedom? freedom? freedom?

black hood?

BLACK HOOD

You have now completed Pitioss

Congratulations

Damn it took you a lot less time than expected

IN LESS THAN SIX HOURS!!!!

I feel like your time in Celeste prepared you extensively for this

honestly i was having celeste flashbacks the entire time

that and

"callie called me out on celeste preparing me for this"

:v

Still, it was five hours, checking the timestamp

So we didn't totally oversell it

But yeah, iirc, Black Hood makes Noct automatically dodge attacks 50% of the time

But yeah your main priority is GETTING OUT OF PITIOSS SO YOU CAN SAVE now