mom just, out of the blue, asks me "does your boyfriend have an issue with us [your parents]?"

uhhh

I don't think so, but now I'm going to fucking wonder, thanks mom, very helfpul

"Our communication styles are different enough that I can never be sure, so it's just more a source of anxiety than anything."
... Probably not good to just say it that way, but still.

it's less that and more just, if he had an issue, he'd say something, he's that kind of person

but when I got upset she said "I didn't mean to upset you" which...

did you expect me to not be? with that question

?

when you could ask him directly, quite frankly

my anxiety makes me hypertuned to other people's emotions and I'm trying to not be and things like this make that harder

Yeah, it’s weird that she didn’t just ask him. I’m sorry it caused you anxiety

<3 thanks

I understand a bit why it came out now, because we're all rather emotionally fragile

my grandmother (her mom) probably isn't going to last much longer

but, like, I'm fragile right now, too! of course I'm going to be upset!

and it's one of those things that I really, really hate, where I assumed everything's been fine, because no one said it wasn't

and then my mom comes out with that, instead of, "when we visit next I'd like to spend some time with him" or something that can be a concrete change