Apparently I can't play the game. All my phone stats say I can, but it gives me the black epileptic seizure screen, and all support says is my graphics card might suck.
I have a Blu G90 Pro with 4 gigs of ram, runs android 10, and I'm pretty sure all my other specs overreach it. They were just like 'nope, must be graphics card or GPU, get another device to play it on'.