anyway, ignis is making a name for himself!

AH.... THE PILLOW BOOK

interesting books these dunmer have

sir you're putting it mildly

haj-vakka trying to describe a page to marius over drinks

also i've still only done the balmora mages guild quests, but it's still really funny the contrast between them and the thieves guild

his little lizard brain going "(dial up noises)"

> Thieves Guild Balmora: yeah we're worried about camona tong hits, can you make sure our locks are up to snuff by getting our security guy?
> Thieves Guild Ald'ruhn: same, could you fetch some scrap metal? we'll be able to fix up some centurion spiders to defend our club with then. if you hit up a ruin, just grab shit and bounce, don't gotta fight nothing

> Balmora Mages Guild, hot mess 1: i need you to sabotage another mage so she doesn't graduate before me. also i'm stealing credit for your work.
> Balmora Mages Guild, head hot mess: I NEED YOU TO KILL THIS NECROMANCER
> The Necromancer: /literally just a mage doing magic, but not in the guild

> Haj-Vakka, taking advantage of the members only discount to sell things he's robbed from other places but which the pawnbroker won't take: do you people do any actual magic here, or,

adjkfdasj GOD i remember the hot mess now

it's true to rl academia, i'm pretty sure :v

coming back here because i was going to say that the other guild locations can't be judged yet but no that's a lie, i will judge ald'ruhn mages guild for the thieves guild quest i had to do

Haj-Vakka walking into the mages guild WHICH HE IS A PART OF AND VISITED PRIOR BRIEFLY, and getting jumped by a trigger happy mage who starts casting spells at him because he thinks he's a thief

WHICH, HE IS, BUT ALSO,

there's a joke here about academics just being Like That, I had to do a training module where one topic boiled down to "not having your name listed first in an author list is NOT idea theft, talk with your damn coauthors"

in this case, while it's not idea theft, this particular case definitely involves work theft lmao
> Cat: Can you get some mushrooms and flowers for my study paper on them?
> Haj-Vakka, already going to wander around in the wilds anyway: sure
> Cat's Paper: `I WENT OUT ALL BY MYSELF TO COLLECT THESE SAMPLES FOR THIS RESEARCH> Haj-Vakka: mmhm*

oh don't worry, "taking credit for your assistant's work is bad, you nupty" was also a topic in that model

beautiful

there's a reason why the "dark academia, you mean just regular academia" joke exists shit's wild

this is why haj-vakka is just here to sell alchemy equipment, y 'all academics got problems