Appropriately in Boxford Mass:

for 7.5 million you too can live in a sterile box

sometimes I feel better about my own tastes when I see shit like this

put me in the zoo box to be admired by the masses

hahaha

why would anyone want to live here

It looks awful as a museum let alone a home

airport lounge vibes

Homes are supposed to be comforting, not "office era 1980"

tell me you don't cook without telling me you don't cook

fucking looks like an ode to cocaine

i love the outside (except for the palm trees in fucking massachusetts, ew), but i fully own my bad taste in modern architecture

i just love big windows and lots of glass!!!

100% you don't cook, nobody's reaching those spices

oh no it's even worse up close

gross

I also love the outside, but that interior is far too sterile for me

dollhouse or AI. what is this perspective.

gimme something cosy

why would you put the tiniest tv there

how is this shit within ten miles o fme

this is like an hgtv episode barfed in lowell

I feel tainted

that room probably smells and sounds like the lobby of a hotel

"Meticulously designed and crafted to the highest standards, it is nicknamed the "Tony Stark Home" for its exceptional features and details on every level. " it fucking is not

also that's all you get, no more photos apparently

no bedrooms??

" The open concept design, porcelanato heated flooring throughout the first floor, create a seamless flow." HAHAHA the floors are heated because that shit's an icebox in winter

how expensive are your heating bills guys

Supposedly 5 bedrooms but no pics

suss

enjoy

i know there's a lot to take in here but i'm stuck on the wood paneling that would be absolute hell to clean ever

the beds would just be slabs of marble, it is now your personal examination room

/shakes your hand in old house solidarity

hahahahaha

tricia868: thank you I'm glad I'm not the only one looking at this going "...this does not look comforting at all"

I guess you get real comfortable with a dustmop on top of a broom handle to reach alll that??

it looks like the set to a horror movie

this motherfucker's still being built

construction 2025

THE TONY STARK HOME LMAO

Making Fun Of Big Dumb Luxury Homes

I sometimes complain about Old House Problems, but I would choose my 1880s house over this monstrosity any day

yesss

oh honey, no, i guarantee its "exceptional features and details" are not why people call it that

who the hell puts that big an open concept in boxford mass. You'll freeze to death

me going like "well maybe the property is sizeable"

It's 3 acres

why must we live in containers

(Lexington Mass, 6.2 million)

that last shot looks like 80s dorm architecture

HAVE FUN CLEANING THE LIGHTS

Behold: the worst tripping hazard I've seen lately

you have to be rich to live there because heating takes most of your paycheck!

this is more my speed even though they too seem to have an allergy to color. Why three ovens??

jesus okay so

You go around the corner to oven #3

for a second smaller kitchen behind the first??

small one's probably a pizza oven

I get butler's pantry or inlaw shit but why

box box box box box

... any chance it's for kosher reasons?

ooooh good point!

the furniture looks cozy, but the room looks awful

That is a very good one, I think you're right

box box must have our sinks be boxes

that looks like a public bathroom

the sink, at least

even the glass must be boxy

ew

If I lived there, I would absolutely split my knee open on the corner of that sink, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night

please tell me there are blinds for this window

so white, so boxy, so sterile and nasty

I love that the toilet gets its own boxy stall that does nothing

probably one of those fancy windows that has, like, a dimmer switch or soemthing

wtf

wtfwtfwtf

on display while dropping a log!

hang on we're moving into rectangle territory

I think this is a bathroom but why does it feel kitchen-y

laundry room maybe?

all this money and land and you still get to be on display for your neighbors. It's a feature

thanks guys it looks boxy from here too

also look how tacky those closet doors look

boxed up for your pleasure

all that money and SO UGLY

Someone tried to make it better with the nice furniture but I feel like they didn't talk to whoever built this thing

"Designed by renowned architect Marcus Glysteen " hang on lemme google him

https://st.hzcdn.com/... :|

I don't want to live like I'm on display marcus

....

his portfolio has maybe one or two nice places and the rest are "why"

I think I hate this one the most

yeah just throw a turret in there

I'm sure it won't look awful

So I think what drives me crazy is that in New England winter, you want a lot of little rooms with low ceilings. That's how you keep your family cozy. You close off the ones you don't use, or you cuddle up like rabbits in a burrow

Open concept shit is great and all two months out of the year. Apart from that you're just burning money

I think you can find that house for download on Mod the Sims

like this is 10 million. But it's something designed for the environment

and what's this?? Color??

like I really don't like these architects who do form over function. You can have both! Just make function a priority when you're making people's homes

or maybe I just like the Arts and Crafts styles. Look at that wallpaper!

oooh, those windows

do you not like that last kitchen? B/c I think it looks great from what I can see of it

though I'd go green rather than black on that paint color

oh no I love that whole last house. I was putting it up as an example of "hey look you can have both money AND taste"

ok!

as a contrast to Box House or Box House the Sequel

I like turret house way more than box 1 and box 2, but it would be better w/o the turret... and probably minus about 2k square feet as well

Yeah agreed

I'm not showing this whole apartment but this picture just made me laugh

... ok

It's one of the mill buildings but it wasn't cut up right into apartments

that sure was a choice someone made

those sure are load bearing

what a weird space

god, that one house is GORGEOUS

link so I can look at all the pics?

I am swooning over the wallpaper and woodwork and stained glass in that staircase/hallway shot

some kids are going to love those beams

yeah! one sec

tricia868: this guy. I like searching for homes with libraries in or near them, you get a lot of gorgeous places

oops now I'm down a wallpaper rabbit hole

I'm not a renter anymore but I always worry about doing something irreversible to my house

I am a child

OH MY GOD, the pretty house is a mile from where I work, I want to tour it. I totally would if there were an open house I could go to

these are so stupid pretty

hell yeah! I'd go with you

/crying over the green plant-patterned tiles in one bathroom, god this house is stunning

hahahaha

Allison, I bought spoonflower wallpaper this summer and need to hang it in my upstairs bathroom but am nervous

YES right??

omg

invite me over I'll be nervous with you but research the hell out of it

I NEED SOMEONE MORE METICULOUS THAN ME.

SERGIO

HE IS THE MOST METICULOUS

He is so fucking precise it drives me mental

Vik is my meticulous symbiote and she is currently in Florida, so we've got me, who's just "eh, good enough" about everything

On a trip to Quebec City he once researched every possible place to park the car and ranked htem

incredible

yeah, you and Sergio should come over sometime and wallpaper my upstairs bathroom with me.

We're gonna head out to build sea glass wreaths in a sec but he and I are on vacation all this week

I'm heading out of town on Monday, alas, so it'll have to be another time

Just chilling at our house because tomorrow is our 4th anniversary

sweet that's right have a blast

But yes I'd love to come help, I'm a nut for projects

I'm painting most of the walls green, but above the vanity is getting gold shimmer wallpaper with art deco mermaids

the sample:

it is so me, I love it very much

when you get a mysterious invitation from an old school friend you haven't seen in decades, and you get there and everyone else is just as confused, and then you start disappearing one by one, this is the house you go to

that house is SPECTACULAR... as is that wallpaper, Tri

tricia868: oh that is stunning

I was almost on board with the sterile box tbh until I saw the marble floors. it would be so LOUD in there. no way.

you're right, I hadn't even thought about the autistic sensory hell that it would be.

I'd hate that.

I was just thinking about how it's the opposite of my aesthetic

I mean look, the house I live in would be a sterile box by some people's standards; it's got high ceilings and big windows and concrete floors. but we've put ... rugs. And curtains. And picked furniture so that we don't look like a Design Within Reach catalogue.

oh lord there are several of those in my neighborhood down here

exact same black-and-white huge-window everything-is-rectangles aesthetic

....ohhhh I know what it is: people are nostalgic for pre-Homeland-Security airport environments

I actually went in for one of the open houses and got walked around, and the bedrooms were completely, utterly empty. And so were the closets. With not even bars to hang anything on. Because apparently people who can afford these houses budget extra to choose their own fixtures.

I bet that architecture style started down south and is now migrating upward, because yes what everyone says, how do you heat that thing

also of course they choose materials that are hell to clean because the people who live here are going to do zero percent of the cleaning

whenever they need the lights cleaned, they all take a Bermuda vacation and come back when it's over

it is hard to overstate how different life is at that income bracket

also, none of that furniture is going to stay in the house. it's 100% display furniture rented out for as long as they're showing the place. right down to the books, spices, and plants.

Fuzzytale The three ovens could be for kosher reasons (meat, milk, neither), but who's going to build a luxury home with kashrut in mind in Boxford MA?

also the toilets look like they use electricity to flush. a house designed for Orthodox people would not have a toilet you couldn't use on the Sabbath.

this looks so much like the place near me, right down to the glass-panel railings

the windows are polarized, but there are no blinds because the buyer will choose their own blinds

...also re the mill building ones: ooooh free built-in jungle gym!

Multiple ovens make sense if you do a lot of bulk meal prep or host a lot of big events that you prepare all the food for. Everyone else would only use them, like, once a year at MOST.

Or if you're running a bakery out of your home or something

Yeah, that does make sense. This kind of house would certainly be used for events.

the front doesnt look too bad- nvm saw the back that's pretty bad

A lot of these boxy moderns are based on California mid-century styles ... which accounts for the "how do you heat that thing" factor. Not a problem in southern California.

but the modern home construction biz is real bad at building to suit local climates now; everything is all stick and drywall and built for the Aesthetic.

(and the price)