it's just me being stupid about my sleep again

i went to sleep early bc today is job start day!! i'm like yeah i wanna be awake at 8am like a good normally functioning person!

silly me, i can't sleep properly for my life

went to sleep at 1am ish

woke up at 4:30am and haven't been able to sleep since'

i mean yeah the big ol shit happening down south is a tiny bit of the reason but mostly, i just cannot go back to sleep if i end up waking at 4-5am, which is guaranteed to happen if i sleep at 11-1am ish

i can only get like 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep, if i want 8 hours i have to go back to sleep a second time...

oh nooo

yeah i can't seem to get more than six hours at a time weirdly

since i didn't have a proper schedule basically my sleep has been like... going to sleep at stupid o'clock, 4-5am and waking at 10am, then dozing off again and rolling in bed until 2-3pm

that gets me decent enough sleep but boy does it bork my productivity

ffs my exhaustion really isn't helping me on this first day, esp since it feels like some onboarding info hasn't been given to me yet

shakes your hands in only getting 4-5 hours of sleep no matter what time you sleep. it sucks man.

godd brain fog is now what I want when my new job is overestimating my capability and I have to sit there like WELP TIME TO PRETEND I KNOW MORE THAN I ACTUALLY DO

is not*

I want to finish ONE rig today. at least. blease

nevermind that the prod environment is glitching on me slightly

stares into the distance

I have been given a rig that. whew. I kind of get what I need to do but BOY figuring out how to do it is making me sweat

love to learn new shit on the fly

I want to ask some questions but it's stuff so basic I'm afraid it's going to reveal that I did not in fact touch Maya for the past 2 years LOL

me, the fool who thinks i can learn python on the fly, spending an hour or more trying to figure out how to make an if statement work with a list

(it's not hard i apparently just wasn't searching stack overflow properly)

i am still tired....

screams

i think i might take some melatonin tonight just to see if it helps

melatonin completely knocked me out until 7:30am.... nice

I can't use it all the time tho...

still a bit drowsy tho =^=