So I lost a day to attempting a Vtube model possibly? And i gave up rofl

but i needed some kind of fun so

tbf it was only 3 people rofl

LMAO standing there and someone sent me a tell like "SPHENE!!!! : D" and followed up with "Queue up! >: D"

i won again LOL

it was fun

i did a prae, didnt want to do more, went to work on msq and remembered fall guys and i dont have it for her.... went to do 2 rounds

now I need to sleep because the model really ran me through the ringer before giving up :|

it had promise and then problems kept showing up. Fix one thing, another thing breaks

lmao i had more trouble with getting the model to export correctly than I did actually moving bones around.... and a lot of UI issues because I'm not used to Blender anymore. (not that I used it much in the first place)

I was going to work on my overlay and try to finish it, stream, and do tags but none of that happened ROFL

by stream time I thought I was making good progress and pain came after that

so tomorrow i suppose

Sphene!

Yee

So I checked jobs again and I FINALLY found 2 jobs I'd be able to do... And then I realized one is a 6am-5pm? IK i shouldnt be picky because beggars cant be choosers, but I dont want a 6am job :|

the other one was for a front desk for a hotel here and im like

because it's from the hotel that isnt owned from the guy I refuse to work for

I've tried before but I'll try again because i like hotel work, I just cant deal with the guy that owns all the other places here

So hopefully I'll have better luck this time?

I also laugh because Dollar General is hiring for assistant manager and regular workers again (they never stopped id bet) but I will never go back to that LOL

family dollar is also hiring but I've heard theyre not the best people to work for either?

otherwise yeah.... not much

i got one application in at least. I hope that I hear back from them

the thing that kills me is all the other jobs I keep seeing here are either: agriculture, nursing, or things that seem do-able, but require some kind of experience or diploma

so it's less I'm not hearing back from places and more, there isnt much places I can actually apply to

I tried to get the paper the other day but they didn't have any papers for here, just and out of town one. So I'll try again next wed when new ones are out

oh, I guess I should also poke crystariums . Were you still interested in the icons?

crossing my fingers for u

ty ;-;

oh not me, you pinged the wrong person hahahah

oh whoops

ill have to double check who asked

oh LMAO IT WAS JEN

SORRY SHEILA

ON THE OTHER HAND, HOW'VE YOU BEEN ROFL

Pinging the right person this time LOL knighted

ITS OKAY!!! HAHAHA I am doing alright, thank you! <3 I hope you are doing well too!

I haven't been great admittedly, but doing my best anyway lol

I at least did some productive rl stuff before sitting down rofl

going through my inbox to clean out old stuff to work on rp things

lmao... ignore the mods. It's me trying to find something to gpose in xD

good luck with the hotel application, I hope you get it!

ty!

LMAO I canceled my SiriuxXM last week because I need to save money and also I havent been using it for a while anyway and they just tried to call to offer me a deal for 5$ a month for a year or something (which is a good deal) and a promotion but If I got rid of it in the first place because Im not using it... Im not interested

So I told him I appreciate the offer, but I can't afford it. So he continued with "okay but you can cancel at any time later on" and Im internally like "or I could just not start it?" If i want to get it back later, I will, but not right now

maybe this is why I'm bad at sale (?? idk if i am or not?) because when I'd make calls for Verizon for Iphone 16, if someone sounded not interested or said "no thanks" i let it go and said, okay no worries. If you need anything feel free to call us or come in the stoe and we'd be happy to help. Have a good day

rather than pushing it LOL

but on the flip side, I handled it like how I'd want it pitched to me? Because telling this guy, "no I can't afford it right now and don't use it enough to warrent having it"only to have him keep trying to push it on me made me just irritated

like I said I'm not interested. stop pitching

so rofl idk if id say I'm good at sales when I'll just be like "I can tell youre not interested, i wont push it"

I mean i did if the person was like on the fence? but not a clear "no"

yeah, that just seems silly. You weren't going to come back now either way, but pushing just seems like a good way to annoy you into not coming back later either, when you were in a better position and might have considered it

I'm... Not going to go too into politics because I hate Trump and never wanted him back, but I'm - unfortunately - not surprised either. I do worry about the next 4 years, but I'm just going to avoid the subject for the time being.

But the thing that's devastating to me is that I just found out today for sure (it probably happened a while ago for all I know) that someone I used to rp with and talk to a lot defriended me on plurk.

I know it's been a bit quiet with us lately and that there are some differences etc... But it still hurts to see...

I know they've moved onto to other things as well in general, so I think it's more of a "we're not actively rping together thing" and interests changed so we don't have much in common anymore thing that it's happened

So it's not like I'm spiteful about it. I'm a little confused but I get why to some extent... But it still hurts to see "add friend" on their profile...

The thing that hits the most too is knowing that we had some really fun rp times but now I can throw all of those plans away because they're clearly never happening again...

I know I struggle sometimes with rp and still do... I just wish I wasn't so God awful at it sometimes... In writing and being able to have enough spoons to be on top of it all the time...

Now some of the commissions I had (or were given) of out characters makes me sad because ik it won't matter anymore... They are still good memories but it still hurts moving forward

my next favorite thing of all this, related to politics, is how people are criminalizing people who didn't vote.

I mean, I get why. A vote not in could have probably helped the results not be Trump but at the same time... sigh

Hi, I'm not registered to vote willingly because I hate politics and I don't follow them enough to be able to put a vote in for a candidate to know what they stand for and intend on doing

i'm aware of how it's important to vote and honestly just know what's going on in the world, but the reason why I do not is because politics - even on a normal, decent day - stresses me or and it all comes down to the fact that I don't have enough spoons for it.

so I just avoid it.

The biggest reason is the fact that tbh? I have enough bs to deal with in my life that stresses me out. I'm depressed enough and have a lot of other problems going on. The last thing I want is to be stressed over what's going on in politics.

Im just trying to deal with my own problems without stacking more on

but so far a lot of responses so far have seen have been "burn in hell if you didn't vote" or "this is all your fault" or ect

and I get people are angry and hurt... I may not be into politics, but I'm not doing well with Trump coming back. I question why anyone supports him still after everything he's done. He's been impeached 3 times and somehow got away without being punished each time. How?

Why?

why would you support that? The biggest thing that stuck out to me was when he literally incited a riot because he couldn't accept he lost. Promoted and encouraged his ratical followers to cause actual property damage and hurt other people who happened to be in the way

and then held back help until finally going on twitter like "Okay guys, Love you, but back up" only when he had enough pressure pushed onto him

That shit was scary and I live in a small ass place where I doubt any of the riot bs that was going on would happen here, (it didn't thankfully but it did come up as a possiblity)

that to me is terrorism and him backstabbing his own country

why he was allowed to run again is beyond me and why people Wanted him back is

but to get back to where I started with this... It sure feels great to see everyone dog on people who didn't vote/aren't registered to vote like "this is all your fault"

It played a part, yes, but no it's not solely our fault

Look to Trump's history of cheating his way in with votes, look to people who actually voted for him, look to missing ballets, etc

At the end of the day, I'm throwing my hands up in the air like I did when he first got elected and think "this is what people voted for. THis is what we have to deal with. We made our bed and now we have to lie in it"

that's not to say to give up and stop trying to do something, just... idk... Not play the blame game specifically i guess

that's funny, job serch
Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP) - Remote

I wont get too into it but just have to get it off of my chest... It hurts to see when someone you liked tagging and talking to had defriended you at some point and look at the good CR and times you had and go "well, this will never be a thing again"

Like I discovered this a day or so ago, but they probably had me defriended before then. TBF, we hadn't talked as much lately and they were getting other interests, but to just straight up get dumped off completely just... hurts...

i mean i general it hurts but... it is what it is

I partially want to message them on discord and say "I'm sorry for whatever I've done" but I also don't want to bother them... They obviously defriended me for some reason. I don't want to push it or guilt trip. I'm just... picking up my pieces, dusting them off, and trying to move forward since people will eventually grow apart at times

that's just a matter of life and even if it is hard to come to terms with it, I don't want to put fuel to the fire.

This just now kicked me in the face again because I was going to comment to a friend's plurk and I saw them post in it and I just stopped, sighed, closed it, and muted it....

I dont want to tag when they're in there because it's just too awkward....

And it's still fresh... So instead I write this here to at least get my feelings down somewhere...

#feelsbadman

the plus side is that I have made progress on working on this overlay (finally)... so there's that??

Positives!

This is 100% a me problem and I get that, but I need to rant to get it off my chest before i finally sleep rofl

[4:03 a.m.]((Theodorus UrsusAdamantoise)) leave it mid plz
[4:03 a.m.]((Tsubaki Aoganei)) why would you want it mid lol
[4:03 a.m.]((Theodorus UrsusAdamantoise)) its faster
[4:03 a.m.]((Tsubaki Aoganei)) but also more aoes
[4:03 a.m.]((Theodorus UrsusAdamantoise)) so? ahha we can just heal it
[4:04 a.m.](Tsubaki Aoganei) lo okay you cna heal it then

my patience not ther eright now

i just left it there really but i let them heal it then

trying allience roulette for healer and me like "im not doing this right now just going to drop it and let them do their thing"

but as it went on

[4:12 a.m.]((Theodorus UrsusAdamantoise)) if 18% stay for 2nd flare
[4:12 a.m.]((Seventh HeavenFaerie)) it's DT
[4:12 a.m.]((Dima Sen'thJenova)) GREED ALWAYS GREED
[4:13 a.m.]((Seventh HeavenFaerie)) gone are the days of first timers getting blown up
[4:13 a.m.]((Theodorus UrsusAdamantoise)) AHAHH then why we still pullin drago mid

[4:14 a.m.]((Dima Sen'thJenova)) because we're brave
[4:14 a.m.]((Theodorus UrsusAdamantoise)) not pullin him mid*

I hate the greed mech. yes if you can get him low enough in time, go ahead

otherwise, just take the minute it takes to kill the adds on the pad, and then kill him right after than half people greed and we all wipe and have to do it again

to each their own and im too eepy to deal with it so im off to bed rofl

i get this is probably not a big deal to comment on and I probably shouldnt have bothered anyways, but eh w.e

me using discord strikes on plurk FML

Oh boy. Depression spiral happened again where I laid in bed for way too long because bad brain made me feel like what's the point of getting out of it...

Forces myself out of bed