it's not Lahabrea today! it is, however, Emet-Selch

there's a thousand-year range here that REALLY affects what kind of boyfriend you're gonna get

which... I could see it? at various points in their respective timelines

....YEAH

Lol Still Percy but I have a Martin Blackwood and Kazuma from Noragami on call

and depending zerxus could either be pretty good for him or Very Bad

Shocking I know

So literally we are

...kinda

yeah, and vice versa with Emet since he also goes through some uh. Dramatic Shifts over the course of canon

timetoreap stealing your man jon

i'm so sorry for everything that is about to happen steve

(am i tho)

YOU BETTER NOT BE. Z should be though. It's MUCH better that way

...for us.

I feel like Fives and Z could probably work in many contexts

not wrong

honestly? I'm logged into my vax account i'm trying to clean the cobwebs from so....i ain't mad. he'd hit it tbh. :V

Ooooh

I mean they're both doomed champions who'd give everything for a badass half elf redhead

vax just has better taste in gods

yes

also, vax is a slut

ALSO THAT

he deserves to keep being slutty after he dies

HMMMMM.

I mean

They certainly have compatible personalities

They really do, she straight up reminds him of his husband already, but alas he is very gay

also

all the steves for you, buddy, I guess

Lol, too bad. She'll just admire his shoulders.

I'm not logged in as him but I still want Zerxus/Nahadoth's Shadow

also I would love Zerxus to meet Dillon someday. it's the opposite of a ship but it would be a whole thing

antipositional a threesome he could get behind ngl

shipoftheseus SAME that would be a beautiful mess

also, yes.

just - yes.

Hado would be so fucking mad about Zerxus doubling down on 'it was a good idea to let myself get made into a magical compulsion-able slave to a tyrant'

literally fuck you forever, literally you deserve this

yes he will be and yes he does, is there a problem

when Love Itself wants to punch you in the dick

I can't even pretend the arrogance is necessarily a turn off for him because [gestures at Glee] BUT

tbf i feel like that sums up his entire life

I do think in some ways Zerxus holding onto scraps of principle and pride would be like, actively triggering for him in deeply deranged ways

even though like!!!! that's a triumph in itself and better than the alternative!

but it's one Hado never ever had even a chance at

.....god I was like "what's the worst thing he could do that would be REAL PUNISHMENT" if he had all his divine powers but his psyche dropped in from 2 seconds after Yeine's ascension and it's like

oh definitely making him forget and remember people over and over

ooooh fuck

asmodeus: I'm gonna torture him. with pain! and rubbing his nose in his failings

hado: move over

"what if i play jenga with his emotional foundations"

Asmodeus: how are you DOING that, you can't just erase a whole person even with memory spells, they're tied to too much other stuff, he should be a vegetable

Hado: idk I just yank out all the shiny bits (IT'S BECAUSE HIS DOMAIN IS LOVE AND HE DOESN'T KNOW)

Zerxus on a pendulum between "honestly i feel okay but there's a bottomless pit of absence under this perfectly nice beige stone. it's definitely better than the agonies and guilt and regret that I have a memory of a memory of being ruined and haunted by. seems impossible to get anything done like that, really. wonder what it was about though"

and "oh fuck oh fuck heartbroken again and the guilt of realizing it DOES hurt so so much and he never wants to lose it again but in some small terrible ways he WAS happier without remembering, he's betrayed them even in this but he does want the pain, he does, he wants the pain of remembering more than anything, and knowing Hado will do it again"

and it hurts Hado a shit ton to do it because it's a HUGE betrayal of his nature

but he's so used to pain that he doesn't really notice or if he does he just attributes it to Power Has A Price

so many layers to this being the most helplesss zerxus has ever felt

anywayyyyyy love makes you helpless where power cannot /cartwheels away

asmodeus: that's what i've been sayi

zerxus: shut the fuck up

anyway I do think after it hit that point Hado would be like "uhg fine whatever" and stop. because he IS very much a sadist but he doesn't LIKE this. he didn't like Zerxus being arrogant but kicking him more NOW is like. what's the point (the point was making someone else feel as helpless as he ALWAYS had and zerxus volunteered)

anyway he's. a normal one

and also my PB for him is Naveen Andrews

oh no

i mean zerxus was already in trouble but like

god one of my favorite exchanges I've played with him was in a kink thread and it was like

"I like hurting people" "are you sure don't just like having the power to hurt people, instead of the other way around" "I definitely like that too"

dude went "both is good"

this thread!!

his username gets me every time

oh and the thread itself got me in a different way entirely

both. both is good.