dragged myself out to manhattan for a work social, panicked when i got to the bar bc i couldnt find them, found out that despite me showing up 40 minutes late they ARENT THERE YET

and didnt know i was coming. lmao. haha. ha.

just deeeeear god im already terrified im gonna get fired or smth because theyll find out i dont know how to do anything and this anxiety will choke me for the next. three months. if this goes like other jobs

anyway now im standing at the bar waiting for them trying not to throw up and convincing myself every second not to run away bc itll make me look like more of a freak LMAOOOO

i really am just. god. i need someone i Know. and itll be Fine. but when I'm alone I'm Stupid

I understand this so well. You're awesome, they know you're awesome. You're gonna be just fine.

update: they showed up and it was ok!! but holy shit i was nervous