I wouldn't be surprised if most people weren't in the cis-by-default-genderqueer-agender-demigender zone somewhere

and I don't really feel like this is a day for me! but I want to put this out there anyway because 1) there's no 'not bisexual enough to count', bisexual is not Het Lite, it's queer! I believe that even if it's hardest to believe about myself

BUT MAYBE MORE IMPORTANTLY

2) I have had gender dysphoria, in a way that sounds exactly like what my trans loved ones describe -

when I had to wear a boy's uniform for a thing and it made my whole body shape look 500% boxier and flatter, broader shoulders, etc

it wasn't painfully tight anywhere or ill fitting enough to explain the discomfort, but I was clawing the WALLS hating being seen in it

and I normally am not really caring what I look like!

I used to wear mismatched clothes on purpose to be funky!

all of which I want to say as like......for everyone who IS in that grey hard to describe genderweird zone, if you're ever wondering "do I really care about this enough, maybe I'm just cis...."

ACTIVELY identifying as your assigned gender, feeling aligned with it, feeling UNcomfortable when perceived otherwise...some people (cis people) really do feel like that!

and so if you don't feel like that, and you want to claim a genderweird or agender or questioning label, you are queer enough, you are trans enough

the wanting is proof that it's real

SAME HAT... I had a really short haircut at one point and wore a baggy sweatshirt and got "sir" a couple of times and wanted to nope into the sun

you're beautiful and cool i love you <3

my style has since become "genderfuck, but feminine" but I still identify as a cis woman

my style is just lazy mz frizzle lmao

LMF

that's amazing tho

I am currently wearing a dress where the skirt has different layers of geological age fossils going down

i described my aspirational style as the lovechild of Ms Frizzle and Neal Caffrey

INCREDIBLE

yeah, I haven't been misgendered (and had some complicated feelings around my breasts in college because of sudden growth basically) but the idea of presenting as male just feels wrong

ms. frizzle is a glorious aesthetic, honestly, and the reason my teacher outfits are all slacks and Hawaiian shirts (the nerdier, the better)

also I want to say....it's okay to question and explore and then finding yourself feeling that you are cis, if you find a way to a presentation you enjoy even if it's not the stereotypes you were raised with. that isn't stealing anything from anybody, and it's good for all people to be able to explore!

^^^^^

when I was a teenager I definitely wondered if I was some kind of "in between" which I mentally labeled "nerd gender" because I had heard of trans people but non-binary was not really on my radar at all yet

and for ME that was because I'd grown up with some oppressive Texan messages in the water about womanhood even though my parents were great, and I felt alienated from other girls at school as a nerd and an introvert

and growing up and meeting all kinds of women outside of that environment let me move past some of those fears and internalized misogyny....but the gender exploration I did meant I was better prepared, understood more and had researched more, when my brother came out to me as trans!

having a better understanding of both yourself and the beautiful diverse possibilities is never bad

I was definitely nerdy enough in a small town environment to question things in high school, yeah

apparently my poor brother was SO SHOCKED the like, 3-5 days a year I bothered to get really dolled up for prom or whatever

I THOUGHT WE WERE BOTH ONLY TECHNICALLY GIRLS??? BUT YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE YOU WERE FORCED TO DO THIS???

me: dress sparklyyyyyy

fadfadsf

"I believe that even if it's hardest to believe about myself" is a very succinct and elegant way to put this into words, thank you

also sometimes I do wonder if I'm aro

but I think I'm actually just extremely introverted

"I have to MEET people??? pass"

also thank you for this plurk, Isabelle, it's genuinely really validating speaking as someone who's slowly drifting more towards identifying as agender the older I get

(being too introverted for the dating scene is also extremely relatable. teaching uses so much social energy. it's my theory that this is why so many of my colleagues end up dating each other.)

I'm glad <3

it's a beautifully informative plurk honestly

agreed

I'm also in the "Am I actually aro or am I just really introvert?" My brain all "God, having to share my space all the time with a hypothetical life partner sounds so exhausting."

haha

now that I'm living with my brother, who is my best friend

it's like. I love him. I love having someone else to make dinner sometimes (more than I do tbh, although I clean more). I love hanging out with him and watching our silly shows together. I have my own room and my own chair and plenty of quiet while he's doing his thing in HIS room

but now he's finally on a shifted schedule at work where his 'weekend' is thursday-friday and I have the house to myself today and tomorrow and I'm like

YES

this is so good

That's exactly how I felt staying with my Sis for 6 weeks. I love her. We get along very well and I enjoyed going on weekend outings together. She loves to cook but hates cleaning the kitchen and I hate to cook but have have a compulsive need to clean the kitchen (and all other public spaces) so our division of household labor is

entirely without controversy. And yet I am so glad to have my own space again.

Like, maybe if we owned a duplex and lived on separate sides...

having seperate weekends and the occasional time when he goes to visit his boyfriend is enough for me, I think, but it's definitely been an adjutment