All because I noticed that my dad saw a message I sent him and then didn't respond

Again

As people who have known me a while know, I'm a daddy's boy to some extent. My dad has been my best friend for years but....he hasn't always been great to me and the past few months have been hard

He wasn't able to make it to my wedding so we ended up doing a justice of the peace so he and my step dad could make it up for that

then he mentioned how they MIGHT be able to make it and then never showed and didn't even get a congrats or anything from him

I cried on my wedding day because my dad wasn't there. My dad who I had originally wanted to officiate my wedding

my wife's mom walked me down the isle

I didn't have ANY family there other than the people who I have chosen as my family

and now I sent dad a message to let him know that I wouldn't be able to make it to Christmas because the beginning of the month I will be in out of state. I asked him to let me know what plans were for Thanksgiving because I would see if I can make it down for that

and I haven't heard from him while I know he's seen it AND he's been posting on his facebook about his dogs

literally a bunch of pictures and a video of the chihuahua's getting spoiled with cheese quesadillas....but not even an "Okay will do" for his only son

I need to stay up as long as possible to fix my schedule but I just want to go curl up in bed or something

probably gonna end up deleting this because I just needed to rant I think

wow, that's... awful. im so sorry he hasnt been there for you in those important moments, that sounds really painful

it doesn't help that like 80% of the people we invited didn't come and even then the ones that did were mostly people who had actually helped to set the whole thing up

it really showed me who I could count on between our two families

when I get the chance I really need to talk to my dad about some of the stuff my niece's adoptive mother/bio grandma has said about me to my niece and her cousin. As much as I wanted to protect them I don't know if I can feel right not telling him for much longer.

but with things the way they are I also don't know if I should seeing as he hardly is fucking talking to me as it is

fuckin hell, I'm just letting myself spiral sorry

thank you for the sentiment thou, Drew! It means a lot

sorry- got distracted- I would feel very disappointed in that situation for my wedding. it super sucks to find out the people you thought would be there for you arent

i hope you know youre loved and that your family's failure to support you properly isnt a reflection of your worth

i'm so sorry that's so frustrating ♥️

Thanks you guys. And yeah I know it's not a reflection it's just hard to get out of it once I start spiralling sometimes