had a dinner and movie date with my partner to try a local hawaiian bbq place and see the wild robot and it was really nice

we sat outside in the tiki bar and had some apps... definitely gotta go back when we have more money and more time before the movie

first meeting with a therapist at 9am tmw... hopefully we gel

happy spoopy <3

I'm glad you had a lovely date and good luck with the therapist!

HAPPY SPOOPY

thank you!! I'm a lil nervous but mainly because I feel like every time I've tried to open up to someone other than my partner in the past year it's caused some kind of nuclear interpersonal fallout

that won't happen with a therapist so it's fine

Happy halloweenieeeeeeee

Rooting for you cee... I hope the therapist is a good fit

Katy and I also saw the wild robot recently! It was a fun time

thank you!!

WASN'T IT SO CUTE... i loved it

i had a good time!! kt i think was a little disappointed that it didn't more closely follow the book (she uses it as a read aloud for her classroom and it's one of her favs) but it was so lovingly animated and i was very fond of all the characters

HAPPY HALLOWEENIE!!!

relares aha, I i never read the book so I i did not have that problem but it is always understandable with adaptations LOL it really was gorgeous though... no spoilers but some of those shots really blew me away

passiones HAPPY HALLOWEENIE btw halloweenie vi: possess me drops oct 11 if you haven't heard 👀

also my intake with the new therapist went rly well, I like her a lot so far... and she already printed out a list of local psychiatric practitioners for me to start with so I think once I've had a few more sessions with her and she can suggest/confirm some diagnoses, I will try to make an appointment with one of them

yeah it was SUCH a gorgeous movie. everything was so vivid and lush!

yay therapy!!

I DID SEE... I'm forcibly stopping myself from buying one of the t shirts because I have nowhere to wear "pumpkin spice this pussy" but godddd

IM GLAD THERAPY WENT GOOD

oh my god. bites my knuckle

YEAH I WANT ONE OF THE SHIRTS SO BAD idk which one I'd get though

therapy went well AND I managed to draw... waow

which I will post later bc I am dying of eepy after getting up at 7am

tummy hurts and sadness is weirdly crushing today. ough

violently ill out of absolutely nowhere today just had to call out of work

big paycheck oofs but I can't work like this

jesus I'm sorry cee

I think it was a migraine, which is still lingering in the form of a headache that will just not quit

the universe finally gave me a fucking break in the form of an error in our computer system causing us to not receive most of our delivery tonight at work

which is good bc man. it wasn't as bad as on Friday but i think i would have ended up very unwell again if i'd had to do a normal Saturday load

tomorrow and Monday are gonna be hellish as a result but I'm happy to defer work-related suffering to a day that I'm not also dealing with sick-related suffering

the nice TL was the only manager on duty tonight and gave me very helpful advice and medicine recs, and after taking some migraine meds on dark lunch the headache is finally starting to ebb... rly hoping with some more rest today that I can kick the dregs and not die at work

caught up on my daily drawing challenge, preordered my partner's bday gift, made and ate actual food, drank a bunch of water, and took more meds

need to send that commission PP probably tomorrow... have simply been too busy and sick and dead 💀💀💀

work was more nightmarish today than it's been in a long time and it's gonna be just as bad tomorrow

I am truly hoping that maybe it will be just slightly less hellish bc we'll actually have a full line-up of people,,, there'll be just as much live to go up but Sundays are small crews bc there normally isn't as much to do on Sundays

but Mondays are always busy so we always have a lot of people scheduled... so...... maybe that will help 😭

god i need to shower or i'll die but i want nothing more than to lay here and not move

resigned myself to needing to nap before I can hose off the filth

showered and ate... now postober and then sleep

work thankfully not as nightmarish as I feared tonight which is good bc I've been in a foul mood

mystery likely solved: seems like the double order from one company that we were supposed to get came earlier in the day which means day shift had to do it. big W for overnight (and karma, day shift has been complaining that they have nothing to do )

finally I have a day off... hopefully I don't randomly become super ill or stumble into a pratfall of stupid drama. feels like that has been my whole life outside of work lately

dangit i forgot my coin expired. might need to wait a week on that one, my paycheck today is gonna suck ass since i had to call out sick on friday

HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT DEAD-EYED SATOKO IN MY EMOJI ROTATION (i'll be fine)

how dare you missnaya i'll kill you (thank you boo i appreciate you)

HEE HEE WOE COIN BE UPON YOU

I forgor to hit anon

outed as the coinerrrrrr

we live in a coin-based society

tbf how many of us are even awake rn\

also i think "we live in a coin-based society" isn't INCORRECT

LMFAOOOO SO RIGHT on both counts

been trying to get my brain to let me do literally anything for hours and it ain't happening so i think...naptime

brain has still been astonishingly uncooperative but i have written a non-zero amount finally

work was more hellish than expected tonight and I checked the schedule and the full-timer for baking goods is gonna be out on Friday so I 100000000% guarantee I'm gonna end up there right after washing my work clothes again

I crave the cold embrace of the earth

it's also my trash night ugghhghh I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALWAYS AFTER I HAVE BAD NIGHTS AT WORK LOL

gotta take out the trash and then lay down and hope my heartburn goes away until it's time to do laundry

now my head hurts too... cry

tummy hurt but im being brave about it and started my laundry and made my bed

executive dysfunction is strong today... ough

god i got none sleep today and my body is so mad

had a very nice date with my partner ytd but also had to have kind of a difficult conversation so I'm very weary... was planning to head home today but gonna stay with them an extra day instead

ofc my fuckign period started and it's my first one since I stopped that BC that was driving me crazy and WHEW BUDDY

been languishing at partner's place all day... gonna have to go home after dinner though since I have work tonight

Hopefully my organs will calm down enough for me to survive the shift... and then tmw I'd like to get to TDM stuff properly

fatigue hit me like a boulder today but I'm finally up and about... draw date with my partner first so we can both try to catch up on our October drawing challenges a bit but then I rly want to do some tags

the October silent spring prompts are CALLING to me

art and period fatigue took up my whole evening last night, unshockingly

therapy, errands, and art decompression today... on the last step now but I need to head home soon to rest a bit before d&d

will try to do some RP stuff before I sleep tho. if I don't do it tonight I'm not gonna have much time before work kills me

after today I work 8 of the next 9 days

oh gross

yeah I am NOT happy about it LMFAO

man... I've been really prone to mild chest pain since it's started getting colder thanks COVID pretty sure this is on you

think I need to start doing breathing exercises or something bc I can't do this all winter...

had breakfast with the roomies for one roomie's bday... very nice and food was tasty but god im so so eepy

and feeling kind of yucky about how very little I have to offer as far as networking and experience and business opportunities go since a lot of breakfast conversation was about that but I think some of that is the "feeling like everyone hates you? go to sleep" phenomenon

like I said u have much to offer even if it's not in every relevant area!! and definitely an eep situation

belatedly but thank you it does not feel like it but. that's capitalism I suppose

capitalism does not define ur worth!! tsk tsk

capitalism may not define my worth but it sure defines every aspect of my fuckin life lately

i'm so tired........ i'm so tired of being at work

just one more night and then i get a day off......and then have to go right back for 3 more days but. please god just a crumb of a break

partner went to bed early tonight so listening to versus dracula on dark lunch and man

I didn't know I needed the McElroys doing castlevania-flavored curse of strahd until I heard it happening

it's also genuinely great to listen to them play 5e and actually mostly know how to play it now LMGNSNMGS

work is annoying but that's Monday. I'm just so weary every time I'm in snack and half my load is a million boxes of mysterious endcap crackers

also they moved everything in cookies/crackers and it SUCKS now nothing makes sense

starting my day off with an early morning breakfast date

now I need to rest a bit but then I'm gonna shower and throw myself at ART and TAGS

unrelated but i keep thinking about the fact that Kalmiya pulled the classic "use your familiar to set off an explosion" gambit a couple sessions ago in one of her campaigns and it was so brutally effective and hilarious that her patron/the DM rewarded her familiar by promoting her to a higher class of fey and permanently upping her HP by 20

coconut... we salute you...

that's so incredibly baller

truly baller

what is less baller is how little of my day i spent on enrichment and how much of it i spent laying around being exhausted or sitting around doing nothing out of executive dysfunction and/or sadness SIGHS

i would really...really like to get to a spot where i can comfortably change my availability to have a day of the week that i am guaranteed to have off

i just can't risk not making that money rn. which is what leads to me getting scheduled way too many days in a row and crushing me in both body and spirit for a variety of reasons

but it helped so much to have wednesdays off when i was going to therapy every week before we moved...

of course that was also when i had a manager who was a reasonable human being and not a catty micromanagey nightmare person so i rarely had crazy weeks like this unless a big floral holiday was upon us

woke up w the most rancid vibes in the world

devours them

thank you 😭

ended up just sleeping all day again which I feel quite terrible about... i have been having that real nasty FOMO lately with how much I've been missing out on while working and sleeping

this is very real. bonks you

is bonk (affectionate)

i managed to shake...some of the nasty energy but work was somehow very stupid and annoying even though it wasn't busy and as soon as i got home my brain pulled into Rumination Station

so. yuck continues but i'm trying very hard to resist the urge to just crawl back into bed and sleep until work again

the fact that i have to survive yet one more night of work is a war crime

im generally too decent an employee to call out for petty reasons but im really thinking about it next time i have a shit streak schedule like this

dunkin put sausage instead of bacon on my breakfast sammie and my stomach is not happy after the textural nightmare that eating that whole sandwich was

listening to Halsey's new album and it's good so far but boy. brutal (positive)

difficult to imagine being in a more foul mood than I am rn

managed to smash one of my fingers at work tonight (does not seem to be seriously injured but wow it fucking hurts) which is just about how I expected to cap off this absolute nightmare fortnight I've had

but. I'm free. I work Monday but I have the weekend off and I have Tuesday and Wednesday off (and then I work on Halloween because of fucking course I do LMFAO) but I finally have a fuckign BREAK

god alive I have earned it

A BREAK FOR CEE!

A BREAK FOR CEE PLEASE

update: had a very nice weekend with my partner... we went to see Kiki's Delivery Service since it was back in theaters and it's my favorite Ghibli movie and then we tried a little Vietnamese place we passed on the way...and got the ax ending for 999 when we got home... then on Sunday we made breakfast and drew a bunch together before tabletop

had to work again last night but I have 2 more days off now and even just the weekend was very healing tbh

I managed to do something weird to my right shoulder/upper arm but hopefully that'll work itself out with some stretching and resting

was having a good day yesterday that suddenly became a bad day, and talked to my therapist about it today...

she has said some things I haven't considered before that I am currently rotating in my brain a lot bc I am not sure how I feel about them or how to deal with them

post-therapy decompression has not been even remotely successful today

man i have definitely had that therapy experience the past few weeks. it's like. i know its GOOD to deal with hard shit and have tough realizations in therapy but also the hangover is fuckawful

gently squeezes you

the hangover on its own is truly awful but especially when you are immediately overwhelmed and unable to rest for various reasons ough