it's a little expensive but I should be okay

it's better than sitting here getting depressed by not being able to clean

my sister is supposed to be coming this weekend and I'd like things to be nice

they managed to fit me into the schedule for tomorrow

I also feel awkward because........... I do not know how to interact with a cleaning service

nobody I know has ever used one because we are historically poor

I'm really excited to have a clean house

I feel stupid for not being able to clean because these days I do feel "fine" most of the time but it's a knife-edge balance of fine that mostly depends on me not doing ANYTHING

amount of time I spend contemplating my life and whether carefully conserving all of my energy to ensure I can work most days is worth it if I can't do anything else: significant

I'm hilariously good at not doing things, though

not doing things is my primary passion in life but it does get annoying when not being able to do things cuts into my video game or RP time

it's so hard to work past the "I should be able to do this" feeling

yes it's taken a long time

I was trying to do some tidying up every day last month but it got derailed by a few bad days

and I haven't been able to get back onto it

things aren't THAT bad but they're also... not good

it could really use vacuuming and dusting to help with my allergies for instance

and my kitchen could use a solid clean

I think this place is going to get cleaner than it ever has tomorrow they have a '49 checkpoint list' to follow