as soon as i opened my mouth around any of our mutual friends, he'd go behind my back to say i was insane, that i was verbally/physically/emotionally abusing him, and saying i was the one doing to him literally doing everything HE did to ME

let alone how he'd gaslight me and also tear any confidence i had as a raider down every time i raided with him, and always made it out to be like i was this humongous drag causing him all the issues, or promising me things and then later saying i was lying, etc. usual. gaslighting shit

but if i say anything about him publicly, i know he'll just twist it to be me like he did with our mutual friend group, so i just. don't wanna deal with him ever again instead

but fr, men aint shit, christ jesus

i hate that so many people deal with this on the daily that it's a huge issue with raiders esp lol

his friends all aided him in tearing my confidence down, or his friends would hear him scream at me and berate me for minor mistakes and do nothing to help me

hate myself for not pushing back against him sooner, but i was scared

after he started threatening me, and then actually did hurt me physically, i knew my fear of him was valid at least, i guess. lmao.

wish i had the means to kick him out sooner. i wish he hadn't been the only reason we didn't have to leave the house i was renting sooner

but shit is what it is, and anyway hi sorry i navel gaze

men ain't shit.