caveat that Heather is fairly dateable but ONLY if your character also has obscene amounts of baggage

do not date James Sunderland

"Do not date James Sunderland" would be an excellent blog header

just in general

date 03 Greed only if you are attracted to morons and morons only

wormdoodles: yeah honestly it would

lmao this was basically my take on this meme like "you need to have more baggage than they do to be eligible"

shiro would date james because shiro's standards are "not completely a dick"

well we know that Envy can check both "obscene amounts of the exact same baggage" for Heather AND "attracted to morons" for Greed

James is like

if he was in FMA he'd be someone they were trying to trick into making the philosopher's stone

Under the right circumstances, Lust and Heather works!

thesinnerwithin: LOL RIGHT.... fortunately for everybody even Heather herself is like "inflicting myself on someone normal would be an act of assholery that I don't want on my rap sheet"

she had a series of very cute will-they-won't-they situationships with other characters in early Route but there's a reason she ended up with Issues Georg (Envy)

redfirelight: SHIRO NO

NO DONT DO IT

Baggage wars

ievakasku: GOD.... James would not only IMMEDIATELY try human transmutation but also I don't think he'd be very fucking good at it

my man isn't smart

Astarion is also super pan

his transferrable skills are "sad" and "actively delusional"

Lizadow: BAGGAGE WARS

OOPS???

HAHA yeah I play Heather as bi at varying stages of closeted depending on character development

she needs a specific set of circumstances to break through her Woman-Related Trauma and realize that she is into girls too

Tho Astarion looking at James like a “lmao”

redfirelight: SHIRO YOU NEED BETTER TASTE IN MEN. OR THERAPY. OR BOTH.

Lizadow: Astarion could chew James up and spit him out, assuming that the CRINGE ALONE didn't kill him lmfao

Just shove all of them in therapy

Tbh

Lust would eat James Sunderland alive. And not in the fun way.

James: This was where I killed my wife, Astarion
Astarion: Cowabummer

crossthesky: NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT FUN. however, he would probably also thank her politely out loud for killing him on sight.

... both.
absolutely both

Lizadow: :KSDHG:KGDH I CAN HEAR THAT IN HIS VOICE

Yeah, probably

but still

not immediately relevant to dating, but please enjoy this old james doodle

“I have no soul.”

group therapy session for every character mentioned in here

I always and forever giggle to myself over Scar and James' foundational, irreconcilable differences, both connected and broken by "so there's this facsimile of a dead woman giving me psychic damage and multiple status conditions..."

wormdoodles: GOD I KNOW, IT'S SO FUNNY...

go ahead and explode his head, Scar, it's fine, he's cool with it

like that is where any remote connection they share starts and inevitably ends

james, tormented by his sins

Lust and Maria would get along so well

THEY WOULD.... DREAM CR TBH...

the fridged women have unionized...

I haven't dusted Maria off in MANY years

but I love her so much...

She's so good

Now Astarion and Maria

Lust and Maria are sipping wine and talking shit and in the background out the window you can vaguely make out Scar holding James by the ankles and swinging him back and forth into the ground Hulk Style

that’s a pair

Drinking wine and looking at James fumbling around and Astarion calls her “darling”

ASTARION AND MARIA

they would make each other better AND worse simultaneously

Yeah everyone fucking run for the hill around those two. Wicked senses of fun and humor they belong with each other

wormdoodles: crying, i wish i had the time and capacity to draw this because it needs to exist

I'm grabbing some dinner, then. Perhaps.

Scar needs to swat James aside and watch as James's body gmod ragdolls off a cliff

They would have some insane great fun but I think they could genuinely relate too

OH ALMOST CERTAINLY

(I haven't played/watched BG3 to completion yet but I've gleaned enough by osmosis to Know This)

“are we allowed to think our group therapy members are cute ....”

spritzes shiro with a spraybottle

What are standards can you eat them

NO. BAD SPACE GAY

ok.........