I think I've reached the point where I just don't see a point in doing my best and having pride in doing the best I can because every time I do I just set myself up for disappointment

I know that I can't just go "turn off your brain and do subpar work like everyone else" because my personality will not allow me to. If actually have to actively tell myself not to go past subpar

Because then I'd get frustrated and then realized that it's because I unintentionally cared again and therefore was set up for disappointment once more

I just get so frustrated when I seem to be the only one who cares about doing stuff well and the right way

Would it be easier to be lazy? Absolutely. Too bad my brain let me compromise on that personality trait

I mean I am lazy but not in some things?

But that said doing the best I can and having pride in my work to do the best I can (even if I'm not good at it) is not at all a bad thing

Id like to think it's a good thing

I just... Get so tired and let down everytime I'm the only one trying

Like earlier I was told that it was faster and easier to just use the power sprayer to wash the dishes and I was doing too much work but

My problem with this is that... The power sprayer is a godsend for harder stuff to wash off, especially under hot water, but it's not a cure all. It doesn't wipe the greese off or all of the stuff

And if it was my own personal dishes maybe it wouldn't be so bad but when you're in a food industry where you're serving other people I think it's very important not to possibly... You know... Get people sick

Not that I'm saying you will this way but there's always the chance. And on top if that, cross contamination is also a thing and absolutely something you want to avoid if possible.

They never wipe down the dishes (you don't have to scrub them just wipe them down with soap and water...) and if they don't bother even wiping the outside where washable marker is still on from a previous thing? That shows me they don't do it on the inside either?

I grabbed a bowl to prep something and it wasn't even the bowl I was trying to get and the bottom of it was so greesy and gross. That's just me grabbing it

But you know what? That's my caring too much about unimportant things I guess because no one else seems to care or have a problem with that

And then I'll have times where I'm working hard and trying to be productive but the others are sitting on their phones and fucking around like...

Why am I trying to do a good job when no one else is doing anything?

This isn't just when everything is caught up. This is even when there's a lot of prep to do or theres tasks that need to be done yet

Or people actively dodging doing stuff

Like why should I try and do anything in the job if no one else cares?

I'm just so tired mentally

I'm just to the point that Im really considering just doing things very half-assed because why does it matter at this point? No one else gives a fuck anyway

Or they shirk their tasks onto me and expect me to do their shit while they sit down and talk to people

I'm not a damn rug

I know I have my faults and I'm probably not great all the time either, but I at least care to try. No matter how much I may hate a job. It's my own pride for self improvement and doing the best I can, not at all for the job specifically.

I really hate "I can't do x" because 90% of the time it's not "I can't do x" but more like "I don't want to do x"

Anyone can do anything if they try. Will it be good all of the time? No. But that's okay. You only get better with practice and repetition

All of this sounds like me at work too

It's just so frustrating

i just want to say as a customer of food service i greatly appreciate that somebody actually cares that stuff is clean :' ) but i'm sorry about your crappy work situation

Yeah... I mean I would prefer to make sure it's clean

I just get so tired when no one else does?