one lady asked if we had "nonstick pans without the coating" and if our stainless steel pans were "nonstick rated". no and no, lady

a lot of someone seeing our "[specific brand] 50% off" and asking if the whole store is 50% off

some guy calling, twice, to see if we had a specific knife block in stock, both times we said we only have the display, which we could sell to him. he drives up, looks at it with one of my coworkers, counts all the pieces (there isn't an empty slot on that set anyway).

he comes in, hour and a half later, furious, and says "it was missing pieces, the block was damaged, and [he] never should have bought it". it wasn't, it wasn't, and he could have just made the return without being an ass about it

we think, based on what he was saying, his wife or girlfriend saw it when he got home, counted the knives and assumed it was missing something because no one is ever smart enough to realize when a block says it's like 17 pieces, one of those pieces is the block itself

dammit karl where are you hiding all the nonstick steel pans

we know it probably wasn't him who counted it and got it wrong because my coworker counted it with him, and based on the kind of guy he seemed, it was probably a significant other who yelled at him over it and he decided to make it our problem

he looked like Larry the Cable Guy, but serious and grumpy about everything

kadath: in the back, next to where we keep the things we say we don't have in stock but keep for people who just keep asking, obviously

I KNEW IT

also, just now: shaking the door will not make us unlock it after we start closing the store down

shaking it multiple times will not change this