He's got cancer.

There's a mass in the lining of his stomach and his liver was inflamed when they did the ultrasound

They did some biopsies because they're not sure what stage it's at or if it's spread.

But it's not looking good and I'm so fucking sad.

I knew he wasn't going to live forever but he's only 11! He just celebrated his birthday!

I was hoping for at least three or four more years with him.

We're going to go see the vet on Monday to discuss options.

The problem is he's almost stopped eating entirely. Like at least with other cancers they can eat while still being pain but since it's in the stomach he can barely hold anything down.

If he can't eat, we'll HAVE to put him down regardless of options because we're not gonna be cruel and let him starve to death. He's already lost 2 pounds and looks visibly skinny.

Dad wants to do chemotherapy if we can but he's SUPER attached to Loki. That's been his buddy and constant companion for over a decade now. Like we joke Loki is his emotional support cat but it's true. He's honestly therapeutic for my dad.

Mom is very sad too but she's alright with putting him down so he won't suffer.

Rather than going through the pain of chemotherapy when it might not even DO anything for him.

And another bummer is poor Sunflower is gonna be devastated. He's her guru, her mentor, her best friend, and she thinks the world revolves around him. He taught her how to be a cat and she loves him more than all of us put together.

Oh no... I'm so sorry. Sending good vibes to Loki and hoping that something can be done without him suffering.

Like she tolerates the four of us, even little sis who nursed her back to health (little ingrate! /said with affection), but she LOVES Loki.

Like we knew they weren't going to be together forever. There's a 9 year gap between them, so obviously he was going to go much sooner than she did. But to lose her constant companion after only two years? It's gonna be hard. She's NEVER been alone. Either us or he has always been in the house with the poor anxious girl.

I'm so sorry to hear this <3

It just hurts so much to know his future is likely to be put down soon.

I'm so sorry. That's so hard.

Like he's so good at hiding his pain. He slept in my room last on my clothes because he loves my scent and he purred when I pet him, which he hasn't done in weeks, so aside from being skinny it's hard to process emotionally he's probably terminally ill.

Oh my goodness. Gosh I am so very sorry. This is heartbreaking. You are all in my prayers. Gosh this is so hard

Yes Cats are like that unfortunately

Like logically I get it but my brain is just going "B-But he looks FINE! You can't put down a cat that looks FINE!"

i'm so sorry

Like with the dogs, they were 17 and 14. They were raisins, they LOOKED old, rough, tired, and worn out. Loki doesn't look that way at ALL. Not even a gray whisker on him.

oh geez hun... i'm so sorry.

I'm so emotionally compromised that I'm gonna defer to what little sis says. She works at the vet clinic we took him to, and despite not being a vet herself, she is super smart and very logical despite also crying her eyes out when she heard the diagnosis. In fact, she was holding him while they did the ultrasound and the vet tech gave her the news.

Like if little sis says chemo will absolutely work, I'll say lets do it. If she tells me there's nothing we can do, I'll push for putting him down.

I was just hoping he'd be one of those cats that lives to be 20 years old and dies in his sleep.

The thing is he's never had any problems healthwise up until now. We take him in to get his shots and a check-up every year and he's always fine.

oh nighty...

I'm so sorry

I'm right here if you need ANYTHING at all...

For the moment, understandably, I'm just gonna be muting all cute cat posts here on Plurk and muting the pet channels on the Discord servers for my mental health.

understandable...

hugs you hard

I'm so sorry

I'm sorry 😢 that's the worst

im so sorry; much love to you and your family — remember to take care of yourself, too

Oh no, I'm so sorry!

i'm so sorry, poor loki and poor sunflower and your family too, these things are so hard /hug

fuck I'm so very sorry

I am so so sorry.

oh no I'm sorry

Aww, I'm very sorry.

I'm so sorry. If it helps, we used to have a cat called James who had a big cancerous mass near his gut. We had him treated for it, and got another two years or so with him.

Worse update: Mom's worried he's not gonna make it to the Monday appointment.

He's stopped eating entirely now for two days.

And keeps trying to find hidey holes away from us. He wanted to go into the garage for the first time in WEEKS and she told Dad not to let him out cause she's afraid he's gonna seek out a hiding spot in there he can pass away in.

If he makes it to Monday, I have a feeling the main talk is gonna be about euthanasia cause at this point it appears he's actively dying.

We'll do it here at home so he'll be comfortable and in his safe space.

I have a feeling you may be correct

I wish Sunflower was an affectionate cat instead of being a little pill who actively avoids human contact. It'd be nice to cuddle with at least one of them right now.

And I'm selfishly upset it's the cat that loves people and cuddles with them and loves to be kissed and hugged and sits on our laps while we watch movies is the one who will be going soon, leaving us with the cat who actually hates people and can't stand to be in the same room with us.

that's not selfish

I'm so sorry

Yeah like, this wouldn't be so hard if Loki going meant we would still have a cat who is also affectionate and cuddly. But Sunflower is....not. She's an anxious mess who thinks everything in the world is a monster out to get her and still feels threatened by our very presence despite the fact she's lived with us for almost three years.

I'm half-tempted to ask Dad if we can just bring the outdoor foster cats in if Loki has to be put to sleep because at least THEY are affectionate and like to sit on laps and be cuddled.

Like I love Sunflower in my own way but she's such a thankless wretch sometimes. She hates being touched and will flinch away from my hand if I so much as reach out to pet her.

honestly a chemical help might be good for her. kitty gabapentin is wonderful for anxiety

If we could ever get her into the vet we could. We need to, it's just getting her in a carrier makes her panic and maul the shit out of us with her claws. It's not intentional, she's just scared, but it's still been too much to get her in one. I've been training her to get desensitized to one but it's a slow and ongoing process.

/offers huge, huge hugs/

put one down and like her favorite food in front of it. slowly work it inside. then only feed her in it

oh no, i'm so sorry

komikbookgeek: Already done that, putting a bit of her kibble inside. She won't lay a paw in the carrier, only eating it up to the entrance.

Have you tried doing it with the top off at first? (assuming it's a hard sided) I've heard sometimes that can help get them acclimated too

oooh yeah that too

feliway helps too, mist it on towels and shove it in

aw no buddy

Alright, so my dad told me something both touching and funny about Loki when he was taking him home from the vet's after the ultrasound.

So he's got a particular meow for every person in the family because all of our names start with M, so it's obviously an easy letter for him to pronounce. He'll actually try to SAY the name of the person he's trying to call.

Older sis did not believe this and thought we were anthromorphizing him too much until she heard him one day calling out for me because I wasn't home and he wanted me there.

So apparently he'd had enough of the vet and wanted to come home, so when they were in the car, he started doing MY MEOW. My name's really unique so I don't like saying it online but just as an example if my name was Marie, it was like he was meowing 'Marie, Marie!"

He can get the first three letters of my name out perfectly whenever he does this meow because all the letters are something a cat can easily pronounce, so Dad knew he was calling for me because he was going "Marrreeee! Marrrrreee!"

And it both touched my heart and made me go that he specifically wanted ME to come find him and bring him back to the house.

But I also found it funny that of all the people he figured I would be easiest to somehow contact via meowing really loudly in the car.

We're taking him back to the vet's tomorrow to discuss treatment options and I'm dreading it.

Tonight, even though he can't eat much, he got some liquid vanilla ice cream as a treat. Just a few licks but at this point it doesn't matter, he can have whatever he wants. I'd give him ALL THE TREATS if only he could keep them down. At least he thoroughly enjoyed it, he LOVES ice cream.

that's very cute and also entirely the right thing to do