"No. No you cannot come and see me later. That is inappropriate and I do not appreciate being asked. Why would you think that is ok?"

"Nothing about this transaction should indicate to you that I would say yes."

Other delivery guys have texted me after leaving but this was so unexpected I started sputtering “I’m sorry but I don’t really like to talk to people”, “I’m very shy”, “I have social anxiety”, whatever I could come up with but he kept smiling and countering everything with “we’ll get to know each other...” or whatever.

His brain: She smiled at me, which means she has chosen me to mate with.
Also his brain, on the next delivery to a female of the species: "You should smile more."

Just trying to say no please don’t come (unless it’s for a delivery) while still being nice because he’s the guy who does all my Chronopost deliveries 😶‍🌫️

omg what a creep!

I still wished him to have a nice day with a big smile when I saw him leave with a frown

I will be a little more guarded now and hope I’m really done with Chronopost deliveries for a good while

Gonna have a chamomile now or something except I don’t have chamomile

maxwell_graf: unfortunately I think a lot of women, myself included, would never feel comfortable being so direct and assertive about things when rejecting a man. Men have flown into a violent rage many times after I’ve let them down in the most polite and gentle ways.

In a situation where I’m potentially alone with a delivery man who knows where I live, I’d be very very delicate about what I said.

yep I'm scared of men

I’d probably feel the need to lie or involve humor to try to diffuse the situation. Sorry that happened to you, Lils, hopefully he won’t bother you anymore

Yeah, me not wanting to make people feel bad I was freaking out he’d actually end up showing up because I wasn’t being clear enough about saying no. But I think he got it. Ofc wasn’t pleased. I just felt stupid for being too friendly afterwards. Lesson learned!

My apologies. I am scared of us, too, coming from an abusive household and seeing now how acceptable all kinds of bad behavior has become among males. I was merely typing out the responses that played out in my head for 5 minutes after reading this. Not suggesting that is the safe response to use, just the one that guy deserves to hear a lot more often.

maxwell_graf: no need, totally get it. Thanks for voicing what should be an appropriate response to this situation. In my deer in the headlights moment all I could do was scream “no” inside my head while completely at a loss on to how to respond appropriately.

you absolutely should not feel stupid for being friendly, this was not your fault in any way.