not travelling to Africa anymore. I have been thinking and rethinking like a hundred times and tonight i decide not to go anymore for reasons: I feel afraid of the connecting flights and long travel plus all the hassle at the airport for what? 10 days off work (but have to cope when i am back) and 10 days to be together (when i feel it can be tasking also)
I feel that this relationship is a little viable for future family already,why have i been helping him much (coz he's gone nothing after detention & deportation) and why i should spend so much for 10 days together just to come back lonely & feeling alone again (actually ito yung mas fear kong mangyari yung maging sobrang lungkot ko lang sa flight pauwi)
Lastly, i feel comfortable at home and i am well aware that so many, many times - what i have to work on is myself. The tasks i have just been delaying, the work i need to do better. Nakita ko naman na before, it's wrong to depend on my bf to help me lessen my depression because given his economic situation, it does not help.
Also yung bf ko is not the type who is patient enough to listen to me. I mean in actions, patient naman sya sa ugali ko at sa pagkakasakit ko pero hindi lang tlga sya yung ok na kausap pag kailangan mo ng mapagsasabihan at mapag kkwentuhan.