clearly they help you resonate with your spiritual chakras better

fuckin... duh

here's the science page

"“Individualized Microcurrent Frequencies” ("IMF") is a proprietary technology of Healy World. It uses the data from a physical noise generator to assign a priority to frequencies that professional user experience indicates have the highest relevance for the user."

it is… a white noise machine?

it lets you control the tailed beasts inside your body

they're only at 7 tails rn though

they're still working on the 9 tails version

this doesnt seem peer-reviewed

like on the one hand weird shit affects your nervous system and neurologists don't know why yet. on the other hand,

"healy world" ok then

i mean, i'm definitely going to add on the HealAdvisor Analyse Meridian Module for an extra $1000

if this were a normal price my mom would have gotten it for me on the basis that 'couldn't hurt'

it's also an mlm!!!

at least that's the impression i get

it doesn't say you'd be recruiting new sellers but 'multilevel compensation model' was a choice of words

ah, definitely an mlm

definitely not peer reviewed

actual health care in the US is cheaper holy shit

here is the thing, most care options for chronic pain aren't!!!

oh wow I assumed they were some kind of advanced tracker, like they somehow tracked more than just the standard fitness device

"Program Pain, Pain locally" is arguably the most obscure phrase like... what does that even mean

i know a certain subsect of crunchy girlies are into like auras and programing speak as aura healing but literally what does this mean

oh it also has a subscription service...

makes you see ghosts, obvs