the trainer at this gym is so nice and he gave me a whole session for free AND we went over by half an hour...

I asked for help with figuring out my 1 rep max because I get scared on my own

and he was like okay, this is when I'm free, we'll figure it out

I've been feeling pretty bad about my inability to get back to where I felt like I was before the car accident but I really surprised myself today

1RMs

Deadlift - 175
Squat - 145
Bench - 85

now I actually have something to work off of and I can feel confident I won't be dropping the weight on my face lmao

last time I actually checked 1RMs I was at about the same for deadlift, but squat and bench were lower so even though I felt like I was backsliding i have been improving. at least I can feel like I'm caught up to where I was before I got completely derailed

ugh i would love to set up personal training again it's just so expensive... and they only have weekly options

I feel like I could really benefit from it like every other week or even monthly but it's either weekly or TWICE a week lmao

maybe I'll see what their minimum number of sessions is and get some every few months if that's an option :T they really try to lock you into those auto payments lol

oops i spent two and a half hours at the gym

anyway i feel way better.

wow maybe what was wrong with me was being stressed and angry at work and not going to the gym a SHOCKER, shocking me every single time it happens

every time we come back from not taking care of ourselves we find out not taking care of ourselves was the problem

it's really a surprise each time

when will i learn. the brain is so stupid.

I ended up ditching work most of today :/ I need to figure out how to take care of myself, work, and have hobbies at the same time aaaaaa

honestly I just block out time like it's a job and have a regular to do list but it depends on what your brain responds to

god i hope someday i figure out what my brain responds to i suck at to do lists, at work I just have a million sticky notes and reminders on my calendar

honestly I've been struggling with having a consistent schedule of any sort since. 2020. I keep trying different variations and everything falls apart 2 weeks in

I'm just a vibes based person i guess i just embrace the chaos lol

I MUST make time for gym and going outside though because when those things fall apart so does everything else

having something to keep me accountable would be great, that's why I wish I could just have a monthly training session instead of having to commit to the weekly (not because I don't want to train weekly, I just don't want to PAY weekly lol)

but I know when consequences and deadlines are fake because I made them up so it doesn't work lol

I need someone else to be disappointed in me for it to matter LMAO

how do i stop sucking at structure and consistency

I DID start blocking time on my calendar for work and gym and writing what I do on my calendar (in my phone) which at least helps me see my time blocks

but I almost never

stick to them

it's my goal for May (again, it's my goal every month?? LMAO) to try to find a routine...

slowly getting somewhere, I hope?? tracking my time is a big step up from simply not knowing what I did all day at least

man i wish i still lived in LA sometimes bc i need a gym buddy

we could be gym buddies

aconite: gym buddy...!! I hope you can find one in your area

I really wish the gym was like

next to work. spending the mental energy and time driving back and forth really fucks me up. I went to the gym midday today and simply never went back to work because of the drive back

but going to the gym after work, it's crowded!!! AAAAAAHHHHH

ok. it's fine. my other fatal flaw is whining about everything so I MUST STOP and simply enjoy my PRs and aim to go to the gym 3x a week next week like I said I would

maybe i need an accountability buddy. I heard there's a subreddit for that...

woof I'm gonna be sore tomorrow

oh is there???

maybe i should check it out

if u have a buddy to share your calendar or reminders app with, make a shared one so they see your tasks too then they will also Know if you didn't do it

discontinued: that's a good idea! thank you for the suggestion

I wonder if it's better to find a stranger or a friend lol.... I think I'll get embarrassed if it's someone I know but the idea of finding a stranger is a little alarming

you could always find friends with the same goals! it doesn't have to be one for all categories you can have multiple buds...that way you're helping each other and maybe that feels less weird

ohh... yeah maybe that would be less overwhelming and feel more natural. I need a work buddy and workout buddy lol

my shins are so bruised up lmao

I can't do gym but we should go on a hike again. I haven't in forever. I'm trying to get back into running since I fell off when meadmaking took over my mental lol.

Trevan0: yeh we can go hiking sometime. I also want to get into running again tbh, my goal is 3x a week strength and 2x cardio. finally got new hokas so i gotta. use em!!

I've managed to run 4x per week so far for a couple months so I'm down to hike anytime, I think my body can take it again lol

nice work!!

right now im trying to do... less... and stop making plans because i did about 3000 things in april. so i must Chill the Fuck Out before fanime but the weather is still nice so perhaps a little grasstouchy

I forgot about lbs vs kgs for a second and I was like good lord

I'm also happy to be a buddy!! I've been really inconsistent with training lately

lkdfg yes the above numbers are in pounds lmaooo i wish i was a muscle mommy like that

85lb bench is better than a lot of girlies who train

100lbs by 2025

AHHHHHHHH I WILL DO MY BEST!!! upper body is so hard ughhh

i just want. to be able to do a pushup?? i can't do a single good form pushup... i hope bench will help with that

i'd like to say it does but i still can't do a real push up

im gonna blame my huge tracts of land, they're always in the way :\\\ i have to lift so many extra lbs off the floor

I'm here to guilt you

with the power of being raised catholic

with catch phrases like "I'm not mad, just disappointed" or "you really could have done better"

I'm kidding that's traumatic

it hurt me just to type

scathefire: harness the power of catholic guilt for lifting heavy things and defeating your enemies

I'm gonna be so sore tomorrow i can tell pray for me

will i simply fall out of bed trying to get up tomorrow, stay tuned

good night.... thank you to anyone reading my nonsense. I will do my best

Godspeed....

update

my legs are fine

it's my core and back that's yellin LMAO

shocking news: stabilizer muscles working hard to keep that weight steady 😭😭

to anyone who tells you squats and DLs don't work core, laugh at them

WHO ARE THEY FOOLIN

oh my god, got the whole spectrum of gym bro interaction at the gym today

approaching the squat rack, I see a guy pacing near it and I ask him if he's using it before I assume it's empty. he says yes, I back off, then he's like haha just kidding it's free

ok???? real funny joke, weirdo

ten minutes later, I'm literally in the middle of my workout, he approaches me between sets

I think he's gonna ask when I'm done with the rack or something normal

he straight up starts hitting on me, asks if I'm "taken" to which I curtly reply I'm married. he says "wow what a lucky man" and I can't help myself, I correct "woman"

and HE DOESN'T GIVE UP???? he's like well if you ever decide you want me to take you out you're so beautiful blah blah

and ends with

I shit you not, I think he thought this was a compliment

"I'm so attracted to older women"

bro WHAT

was he negging me did I get negged LMFAO

anyway ten minutes after that ANOTHER MAN APPROACHES ME I'm gonna lose it at this point

but this guy just asks me about my technique because he noticed something I was doing and wanted to also do it

he was very nice and normal, thanked me for my time and wished me a good workout

I wish women only gyms were more popular and not all for middle aged women doing aerobics

I'm so curious too like. does that EVER work? approach a stranger and say "will you go out with me?"

is this a thing some people agree to?!

I used to go to a woman only gym which was decently equipped but damn the toxic girl power culture was also very annoying

and also women would use squat racks to do banded exercises, sometimes while you were using them...

imagine having the budget and facilities for a home gym

a home gym is The Dream...

sometimes i go through pinterest and drool over gyms people have built out of sheds

god, IMAGINE having a house in the first place LMAO

banded exercises in the squat rack please 😭

Talking to ppl in the gym in general sucks. It's like church. I'm here to pray to the iron gods. Plz worship in your own space.

Also guys are so weird. Like give up bro.

PLEASE WORSHIP IN YOUR OWN SPACE

I'm not mad at the guy genuinely interested in talking about working out

but the other guy was so bizarre FUCK OFF ughhhhh great now I have to figure out how to avoid him lol

I guess the bene of having an evil aura is men have never approached me in the gym

but my god.... why do men do this

don't they know I'm training to be strong enough to suplex them off a building

RIGHT