As many of you know Im he primary caretaker of my disabled brother and elderly mom.

and im pretty sure caregiving with the emotinal labor involved certainly had something to do with the massive amount of burnout ive been dealing with.

plus calling to endless beaurocratic red tape, being its own beast

handling all financials, getting groceries cooking, and somewhere between all that trying to start my busness with barely any funding

so ive been tired in pain and anxious for months

and insomnia to boot on top of it.

which doesnt help in the getting things done and in order aspect of things

plus getting the studio clean and things set up so i have a nice place to work

and of course first thing in the morning mom dumped all her expectations on me like 5 or 6 different things at once

without asking how im doing or feeling or anything

and surprisingly my brother defended me

but this led to an arguement between them and im just like here

i really want my mom to find therapy, or something to help her anxiety

but finding a bengali speaking therapist is gonna be rough, i found one for myself after like 10 years in therapy hell

but yea if ive been absent from here its big reason why

the emotional labor and cooling meltdowns and what not

its a lot

plus side i finally got an appt with thier social worker

on the 6th of may

so i can atleast be paid for my efforts

and have more to put into my business and house things

ive be3en calling for 3 months

it was a hassle to go through several agencies

that is just so hard ani, i'm so sorry you're going through this

it is what it is. Sadly. My mom is south asian so she doesnt see my labour as labour

its just what a dutiful eldest daughter should do.

but in good news im saving up and getting six musical tickets when i go to ny for my niblings birth since its around my wife and my anneversary

and we got a hotel by the beach

Im sorry. This is a lot to deal with

i want to relax and not worry

thanks, sadly its been stuff ive been dealing with more or less for a long while, since dad passed.

im fine with the work i wish i was just appreciated for it

my wife is a godsend for being as sweet and understanding as she is

im gonna ask if the social worker knows any programs so she can be out a bit

ok bro and me went on a few errands

we tookm zelda and it was nice

its 65 degrees and im just sweating.

im really weak to hot weather

all the more reason to move north

/reaches for

I passed out

You're doing so good dear. I'm so proud of you. Rest up and build your strength lots, <3

salad time

Thank you everyone. It means a lot