I know of two friends that were really burned by guys posing as female avs. In the cicle I hung with you were suspect until you got on Voice

I'll tell you this Voice IS NOT a guarantee. Not been a problem but trust me I know more than a few folks I've been in voice w/and ...

they're not the gender they sound to be.

for me unless it's important, it's not important, and I guess I've been lucky and careful, but it's the internet it's all malleable.

in MY OPINION... which applies only to me... if you aren't looking for a RL relationship, it shouldn't matter. If you ARE...

then that's a different matter altogether.

and I really hate using voice. I've done it, but for me it wrecks my sense of having a "second life". When on voice, it's just RL me.

Voice takes away part of the fantasy... few times i did, it disappointed me....

Indeed Sassy, its just RL and not SL anymore...

And btw, i read Vanni's opinion on this topic before, and i agree fully with her....

that post. I am sometimes a boy and sometimes a girl in SL, and I decided I ought to put my RL gender on 1st Life tab, just in case...

... someone really cares. Not that I'm looking for an RL date in SL anyway. But I respect ppl who don't, as long as they aren't...

... actively deceiving / hurting ppl. And I think your field-spotting rules are accurate, or at least funny.

my observation was that most of the girls in the SL lesbian community I hung out in treated SL like Match.com, and a several hooked up in RL

What do lesbians do on the second date?

( that's a riddle, btw )

( well, a joke )

DaleInnis - glad you enjoyed - but I can't take credit for cannoligirl 's observations. OK, I can take a little credit, as my many...

conversations with her on this and related topics perhaps inspired parts of the blog post.

Sileny - I don't own a cam either, nor am I going to go out and purchase one just to satisfy the doubts of someone I will never "meet".

Sasara is a second life person, everyone is free take her at face value or not. The people who matter already know what they need to know.

but I'm not out to make first life connections. I use my first life for that, and my second life for other things.

but again, that's just me, the people who use SL differently are not wrong, just different.

I respect the desire to "know" in some circumstances - I'm just not going to get into any of those circumstances myself.

WendyOfNeverland - I feel for the people who were hurt, though I'm afraid I would choose to remain "suspect" in your circle.

but I guess as someone "suspect" I wouldn't be misleading anyone, just leaving them wondering.

but... I do not approve of lying. Tell the truth, or don't say anything.

also... just because someone doesn't tell, doesn't mean they are genderbending.

lol, it's complicated and confusing, isn't it?

I don't voice in SL. If anyone needs proof of who i am i have a copy of my works photo ID card i show them along with a recent photo of me

also with Voice a few have used Voice Programs to altar them to sound like females. So Voice ID isn't always 100%

under what conditions does a person need "proof" of who you are? Just wondering.

If you get so close to a person you meet in SL you want to visit each other in RL. As that happens alot

well yes, for people looking for RL hookups, I can understand that, although SL is not "match.com" and I don't think should be seen as such

No one is saying it is or should be. But girls wanting an all female sim to themselves don't want to find out some are male.

but it's impossible to police, unless the sim is closed and to enter a person must "verify," which is fine if that's what the owner wants.

Sans that, since some x% will be other than what they appear as in SL, it's safer to assume *everyone* is being "gender dishonest"

At least potentially

Okies what would you do or feel if your closestfemale friend or even GF in SL turned out to be a guy, after you told them everything

um, I had that happen, kept the relationship going. But I guess I'm just different

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with verification if that's what people want...I"m just saying that it should be up front

rather than down the road.."Ok, now I have to verify you." I wouldn't get involved with anyone I felt I had to "verify" at some point.

Since I don't have any desire for a RL hookup. If I did, the "verify' clause would come up *first*, not later.

I guess with my line of work RL i am always suspicious of what people say and do.

This post by my friend Argent explains my view perfectly on the matter.

had a close girl friend who eventually told me she was a guy IRL. Didn't make any difference to me. But then I am weird.

well, i for one think its lying, though i am wierd maby. i played as a girl avi for a long time in sl. i had in my profile i was male in rl

though i dont know if i got any good points casue of that.. hahahah

still, i would be very angry if it turned out that someone you have been with for a long time in sl is not what you think he or she is..

i mean, starting off with a lie...

hypothetical question: that hot 20 something you're with turns out to be overweight,chain smoking grandma who take meth

are you upset by that as you "weren't told" up front about her age/weight/addictions?

doesn't think it's a lie. Is someone who goes around in a dragon AV lying because they aren't a dragon IRL?

I think the counter to that Dale is "But you're not trying to convince anyone you're a dragon in RL."

Of course, if RL characteristics are a non-issue, that's hardly a problem

well, there is this story about those two lesbians that got off so well that they wanted to meet in rl, one of them felt the need to tell he

infact hetro male and was sorry... then the other did the same ;.) *giggles

dunno if they hooked up in rl after all..

heh heh...but my question is why would one or the other go to RL when they were obviously SL based? More stupid than deception, IMO.

everyone should get used to the idea that just being an X is SL is *not* trying to convince anyone that you are that in RL also.

Of course if you say "I am an X in RL", and you aren't, that's a lie. But just being a girl in SL is *not* a claim that you're a girl in RL.

interesting

one of the first women I met who I friended turned out to be a guy

did not bother me

although it probably would if I was dating them

commented... Well written!!!

My RL sister used to get her husband to voice for her at times, because she thought it was funny. Voice proves nothing

This is what I get for replying before reading. I thought the blog was great Sas

Thanks, Shaunti