... yes?

Alien attack?

No, something much more normal: Intense snoring from the other side of the bed. Bleh.

You need the Cattleprodinator 250.

No, someone needs surgical intervention. And I need either something to knock me out completely or really good ear plugs.

that snoring isn't good for either of you. I've gotten some very good cheap ear plugs at the drug store for concerts btw. ~ buck a box

Does he have sleep apnea?

Nope, no sleep apnea. He has a severely deviated septum, tonsils that are in need of removal, and an overly large uvula that's coming out.

I've tried a few sets of ear plugs, but none have worked for too long. Irritation is bad!

awww maybe headphones and music?

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through this