how vengeful

well im finally staying here in our opis in makati.

and im here to make him pay for his sins

.. u might soften up later

what you mean?

but the weird thing is, pinakilala nya ko sa babae nya as his son tpos he's been cool and kind at me.

kinda makes me confuse if im mad or what to him. but everytime i see him w/ that bitch damn i get so f***ing mad and furious..

i mean.. in due time, you might soften up and accept the reality.. then ul be able to forgive him.. which in turn, will make u abandon

ur plot of revenge.. ah pinakilala ka nya? whoa

it's normal that you'll be mad esp if you're close to ur mom o kaya sanay ka syempre na intact ang family mo..

my dad and i arent close.. sea man xa and he stays at our place mga 5days [the longest] as far as i remember kasi ang family nya

father, siblings and cousins ay nasa pasay.. kaya when my mom decided to separate [8yrs ago], dahil wala akong attachment, parang wala lng

i guess.. what i mean to say is.. you're lucky in a way that you have rational feelings of anything to do with ur parents..kasi "buo" kayo

you have a point there.

but now i hope i was you. feeling no negative emotions bout what happened between your mom and dad

i want to throw away this madness, but for some reasons i cant.

coz all my life i wanted to be like him, he is always the one that motivates me to do great things. but then he do these things that crushed

my inner being. that made me lose to my inner demons. and now im eaten by rage. stuck in darkness w/ no signs of a single light.

positive emotions had abandoned me while negative and dark ones started crawling all over my veins.

and i thought of after i manage to bring him down and extract my vengeance, i no longer consider him as my dad nor as my family

wow.. why not make a poem or a prose about it? sorry, sudden idea.. i mean, u seem to have a way with words.. u can think of it as a

catharsis to let out ur rage.. at the same time, you're making art

i wont even care if he wont consider me as his son. all i want is to make him pay and repent for his sins. till then, my mission is done.

..yeah some of my friends tell me that too.. kasi nga indifferent ako sa dad ko.. may positive memory nmn ako sa knya.. like noong times

i've done that. but still doesn't satisfy my rage. even made drawings and paintings.

na nasa work sya and he would call.. he's sweet, friendly, generous, charismatic.. i can tell from memory saka un din ang pagkadescribe

sakin ng nanay ko..when i think about it, it makes me feel sad nmn din..regretful.."sayang, sana mas nakilala ko sya"..mejo mhrap dn ung

ganito..a daughter growing up without a father figure.. kaya dati aloof ako sa males pero i think mas affected ang sons pag ganun

like how u described ur relationship with ur dad..sons need a father to look up to..

well its even harder to live w/ a dad whom you respected alot, someone you are so proud of but then he has evil secrets

prang my life ceased to continue dhl s mga ngyyri ngaun.

im just stuck in one place where revenge is the only thing i think of being a way out.

npkanumb kc nya eh. kyang nyang d maapektuhan kung me maaksidente sa mga anak nya.

i mean kya nya*

even said to my brother "kht mamatay k d kta iiyakan"

and i even thought wat if i'd do suicide and leave a letter saying this is for you to show how much i love you dad.

so he'd change back to the man i looked up to before. in that way, he'd even repent for his sins. but repenting will be too late.

yeah. kasi ur so disappointed with him

naku wag! that would scare ur mom so much and ur siblings too

im too much disappointed and ashamed of him.

**scare [i thought i read suicide ATTEMPT] -- greatly sadden

i dont care. i wont care. as long as our family will have our father back the way he was, i wont mind doing it.

suicide won't solve the problem.. it's just an easy way out.. mas maiintindihan ko pa if ul plot a revenge..

its also a plot of my revenge

saka.. ur siblings share the same pain.. hold onto each other nlng.. i couldnt imagine pano p ang nararamdaman ng mom mo.. heartbreaking

pero now parang nice sayo dad m db? hmm i wonder what's up with that..

knowing his youngest son committed suicide because of what he had done would drive him down to his knees and repent.

but if not, ill hunt him though im dead!

i held on to them way too long. now cant even get a grip. and i dont mind, coz now, the son and brother they knew is dead and gone.

how determined, hanggang sa afterlife, may revenge pa rin! lol

they made me like this. since i was a child, i've been bearing this heavy burden and pain that made me surrender and stop fighting.

since 5yrs old, i was enduring this kind of pain because of them. then he did this thing over and over and i cant take it anymore.

so im gonna put a stop on this and finally end this once and for all.

paintings? wow..

ah marami n rin plang incidents dati pa

yeah. very dark oriented paintings

yes mdming mdmi p. ilang beses nya ng gnwa un eh. kla ko he changed for good, i even argued w/ my mom coz i believed he changed

but to my surprise, he just got way worst

wow id like to see that.. i love paintings.. as long as hindi very morbid like mutilated body parts or deformed humans

ah that add more to ur rage.. kasi u believed in him pero gnwa uli.. ang hirap tlga pag malimit mgkahiwalay ang parents..

pero it's sad how there are a lot of incidents nmn din n kahit parang ang smooth ng relationship, cheating occurs parin

remembers a story from a talk show na 50yr marriage.. then the wife found out na all those times, her husband's been cheating on her..

well i dont paint like that

wtf. 50 yrs of cheating.

i was even more proud of him because i thought he changed for good, but then, i got disappointed much much more

yeah..

what d'you mean by "dark" paintings then? hmm..

dark. it has eerie emotions. emotions like sorrow, death, rage, and fear. but i painted others w/ light atmosphere but still have a sorrow

feeling on it.

i see.. quite a lot of negative emotions there

yep. and i need to get it out of my system quick.

yeah i get u.. dati when i was in a horrible state, i draw a lot.. pero since i was young, i ddnt know it's a form of releasing stress

noong ng attend ako ng seminar, i asked the prof at the end if there's something going on with an old drawing.. aun evident nga ung prob

ko dati.. hayz i love projective test interpretations

yes it was a very good way of releasing stress. sometimes i even compose songs but i never introduced them to my band

.. and u have a band! ur very artistic!

eerrr.. not so haha

you write poems, you write lyrics, you paint, you're in a band, you express your emotions using

sentences that seems to come out of an edgar allan poe prose.. sounds pretty right-brained to me lol

**seem

well alot of my friends say im too deep.

deep..? or angsty-brooding?

what you mean angsty-brooding? nosebleed

sorry

angst = torment, worry, anxiety, fear, etc.. i made up the adjective form, wala tlgang "angsty"

gloomy.. dread.. ganun.. ung brooding = "persistently thougtful", "persistent morbid meditation on a problem"

to think anxiously or gloomy-ly about a problem.. contemplative.. meditative

.. to dwell on things.. it usually happens with teenagers nowadays hehe..

parang si sasuke sa naruto pag tahimik at ng-iisip.. un ang angsty-brooding type hehe.. if u watch naruto..

oh i see. nice. nalunod ako dun

yes i'm like sasuke. but im a very deep person too.\

why does it seem you really know me. lol

you're like sasuke!

hmm? it seems that i know you..? hmmmmmm hahahahah *in creepy voice* i know who you are..i know where you live.. and i know..

i know what u did last summer!

nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!! (screams like a girl)

now come to think of it, where is my sakura-chan?

unlike sasuke, gusto m c sakura?

yes. pra me humahabol skn.

aaaaaah! lol gets ko n hee hee

tpos ung big brother ko at dad ko c itachi at madara.

lol it reminds me..2 chaps n ata ng naruto hindi ko nababasa haha.. galing ng resistance ko.. balak ko kasi 5chaps bbsahin ko ng isang upuan

wow adik

d n dn pla ako nkknood ng episodes nla. haha

i stopped watching noon pa lol.. hindi ko n alam saan n ang shippuden..

i think its ep 116 or 117. d n dn ako updated.

ang dami n pala! i think the last ep i watched was 30+

yes. dmi n tlg. kya nung bakasyon p ko gabi gabi ako watch. mga 10 ep plge

cool marathon

ksu aun nhbol ko n ung mga ep so ppnoorin ko n lng ung bata p cla. weekly kc cla ngrerelease ng new ep ng shippuden eh