Me: Zoe, I'm having a mental health crisis. I feel lonely and isolated, like I could scream for days but no one would hear me. I worry. I weep. I can't remember the whole of my face; I refuse to look at my reflection.

Zoe: I'm going to use my wobbly feets and my wonky beak to lift this bottle cap and bonk your face with it for the next fifteen minutes.